It Takes a Little Tweaking Sometimes, but My Internet Reception Has Gone Way up.
Yeah, you know, sometimes I scrape low doorways as I pass through, but I hardly notice it anymore. It’s not like the other month, when I had those wires attached to my fillings? No, no this works great, and doesn’t give me a little static-electric shock whenever I try to bite the cat.
Are you kidding me? Business 2.0 magazine calls this the decade of wireless, and since I installed this sucker, I can see what they mean. For instance, ask me what the weather is going to be like tomorrow. …. well, I don’t know. But the voice I’m hearing in my head tells me that in Bulgaria they’re expecting light snow. So you see, it may take some tweaking, but the technology is valid!
Heh, I know what you’re thinking. (Of course I do, I can hear it as though spoken aloud.) You’re wondering how my ping is when I play computer games. Superb! Of course, game clients aren’t exactly up to date yet, they can only connect through wires in meatspace. So I don’t use game clients. I just sit at my computer, will myself into a Quake 3 server, and move my mouse around reacting to the visions I see in my head. Sometimes I win. But nobody can see me, so they don’t know. I think it kinda freaks them out, you know, to have this guy on their server that they can’t see or hear, but he’s playing. Oh well. They’ll get used to it! It’s 2001! We’ll all have hangers on our heads by 2014 – at least, that’s what the Bulgarians are saying.
Hang on, could you stand by the window with your arms up? I think someone is trying to ICQ me.
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