I Swear to God If You Start Talking about Your Two Handed +3 Cursed Berserking Sword at My Company Christmas Party, I Will Slam You
Okay hon, I love you, but let’s take it easy with the cursed berserking sword stories, okay? They just don’t go over well with the people at the hospital.
Oh no, I’m not trying to say your stories about playing Baldur’s Gate II aren’t exciting. I mean, look, whenever I can stay awake I enjoy them. What I’m saying is, frankly, if you bring up that Cursed Berserking Sword – I’m sorry, it was a +3 berserking sword, I understand that lemme finish – if you bring it up at the party? I will suplex you into the mini bar.
Please try to see it my way honey, these people have just worked overtime holiday shifts. Just yesterday, for instance, we had to treat a guy who came in after some woman at an ISP attacked him with a desk fan. Or this evening, when someone claimed to have sustained a brutal Madden 2001 injury? Do you think they want to hear about your new broadsword (sorry, +3 two-handed cursed berserking sword I know I know)?
So, we’ll make a deal. I promise not to bring up the fact that you were laid off from your part-time job at foto hut, provided you promise me – pinky swear – that you won’t talk about your sword. Or the staff. Or the armor of the undead. Or your new halfling character.
Alternatively, I will chuck your ass through a plate glass window.
I am a medical professional. I’m just saying, I know how much pain a human body can sustain while still remaining conscious. Now, what was that you were going to tell me about Minsc again? Oh it wasn’t that important? Good.
Score: 8.06; Total Votes: 1385 as of 2009-12-09.