Happy Holidays, Skip. Here’s your present. It’s a gift certificate for … A MANBEATING!

That’s right Skip. Open the envelope. It may LOOK like a GameSpy Gift Card, but in fact, it’s actually an inexpensive discount gift-certificate for a MANBEATING.

I like you, Skip. You’re a good friend. A great suite-mate here in the dorms. Together we’ve had a lot of fun playing Medal of Honor or Wolfenstien. So, really truly and genuinely, this is a gift from the heart. But don’t be misled. It’s also an admission pass to the SMACKFARM.

It’s a guaranteed BEATDOWN.

Because as soon as I get a hold of you in Call of Duty multiplayer, I’m gonna pulp you like ripe mango.

I’m gonna frost you like a cake. I don’t even know what that means.

So, enjoy your gift card, Skip. Go online and activate it today. But remember, it’s not only a subscription you can take advantage of. It’s also a one-way ticket to a DEBILITATING NUTPUNCH.

Enjoy it, Skip. You’ve earned it.


Victim Pic Small

Be sure to write your name on the back. You know, so they can identify you when they find it on the corpse.


Score: 6.35; Total Votes: 2455 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
Victory will be mine in this Battlefield 1942 map contest … though I had to take some drastic actions.

Next
I don’t care what they say. Growing hairy feet is the hottest new geek trend.

Back To Index