For God’s sake! Pick up the blue dot! A man’s life is at stake!

What are you doing? Don’t run around the grey rectangle! The mouth blobs are there! Turn away, turn away! The little men need a blue dot before the timer runs out, and I’ll be damned if I watch you throw their pixellated little lives away!

Now turn! Go up, up! Your zapper is a precision weapon – it can only fire at precise 45-degree angles, so aim it well. Hit the mouth blob! Well, now you’ve done it. Can’t you hear the men beeping? They’re dying, and it’s all your fault.

But the men beside the yellow triangle – there’s still hope for them! Go quickly! Push up on your joystick as hard as you can! No, NO! Don’t turn away to take a sip of your Diet Coke! You’re not just leaving them to die, are you? You SICK bastard, they’re dying up there and you’re moving to the exit to go to the next level with bonus time remaining. Dying! Dying for want of a blue dot that it was WITHIN YOUR POWER TO GIVE. You cruel bitch. I hope the end boss eats you alive with … his … whatever he does with those things that look like blocky arms or whatever they are.

Victim Pic Small

Those bleeps and bloops as your bonus points rack up? Those are the wailings of the little tiny blocky widows, whose pixelly stick figure men will never be coming home again.

Score: 7.69; Total Votes: 2211 as of 2009-12-09.

You tell the captain of this plane that my GameBoy is almost out of batteries! Now MUSH!

Three words, my friend, three words: Massively Multiplayer Curling.

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