Why can’t you people just take the hint and get as addicted to Tiger Woods as I am?

What more do I have to do? I left the box out on the coffee table, and you covered it up with a Hot VWs magazine. I constantly turn the game on before you guys get home and walk out of the room, but you guys always put in a different game. Every night at dinner this week I’ve been like, “Gosh, that Tiger Woods 2004 is a great game. Anyone can enjoy it!” And you’re all like, “Pass the potatoes, Bob.”

So then Cheez goes out and buys a copy of Simpsons: Hit & Run. Oh yah, you guys are all over that like a rash. I keep dropping hints like, “The best part of Tiger Woods 2004 is playing tournaments with your friends,” and you guys are running around telling each other “I just unlocked Groundskeeper Willy’s tractor!” Everytime I hear a crowd around the console, I run up all excited, but you’re playing The Simpsons.

Didn’t you notice how I taped the Tiger Woods strategy guide to the microwave and left a copy of the FAQ next to the toilet? Anyone?

The ultimate insult came this afternoon. I had left Tiger Woods running on the machine, then I casually went into the kitchen to make a smoothie. When I came out Cheez was settling into the couch, reeking of MiDol, and he picked up a controller. I plopped down next to him and picked up the other controller. “This is SUCH a great game. You want to play a few rounds?” I asked, all sly.

And Cheez, he stares at the screen – like, for a full minute – squinting. And suddenly he says, “This isn’t The Simpsons!

I hate you all.


Victim Pic Small

Early this evening I was bragging about how great a driver I am. And so Ted says, “Really? Show me!”

I fired up Tiger Woods and he said, “Oh, in GOLF. I thought you were talking about Willy’s tractor.”


Score: 7.71; Total Votes: 1777 as of 2009-12-09.


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