So, you’d like to camp planes with us in Battlefield 1942? You’ll have to fill out some of this paperwork.
No, relax, it’s just a formality. This is a 64-player server and in the evenings its packed, so before we allow just anyone to camp the airplane spawns for the entire time we like them to submit an application. We want to make sure that you’ll mesh well with the rest of us, right? That is to say, the other dozen of us ALSO camping the plane spawn. Hour after hour. Ignoring the rest of our team. Or the mission objectives. Anyways, on to the form!
NAME: ____________________ Translated name for those of us who can't read l33t: __________________________ Rank (Check one): ___ Newb ___ Total Newb ___ Longtime Newb ___ Career Newb Preferred Class: ___ Assault ___ Anti-Tank ___ What's the one with the bazooka? Which plane do you want to camp? ___ Teh fighter ___ Teh bomber ___ Can't tell difference Can you actually FLY a plane? ___ No ___ Oh hell no ___ Never been in one How many ENEMY planes have you shot down? ___ 0 ___ 1 ___ 2 How many friendly planes have you shot with the bazooka because you couldn't get in them? ___ 1-5 ___ 6-10 ___ All Have you ever successfully taken off from an aircraft carrier? ___ Yes ___ No ___ Mostly ___ Need clarification on the term "Taken off" How often do wound or damage teammates due to friendly fire? ___ Rarely ___ 5-10 times per round ___ 10-20 times per round ___ Most of the round ___ For the entire round ___ Unable to distinguish them to begin with Have you ever touched a girl? ___ Rarely ___ 5-10 times per round ___ For the entire round ___ Unable to distinguish them to begin with ___ Guh- Guuh -- uuhh And finally, why have you decided to camp planes with us this evening? ___ Ran out of detpacks to place under friendly tanks ___ Need something to not pay attention to while talking on the phone ___ So called "Strategy" or "Tactics" confuse me; much easier to sow discord ___ Own motivations perplex even myself
Please fill out your answers above, tie the survey to a grenade, and throw it through the window of our headquarters. Thanks!
[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Sam Sutton. Thanks Sam!]
Hmmm … you filled the whole thing out in Crayon. And then ate the crayon.
You’ll fit in well here!
Score: 9.01; Total Votes: 2322 as of 2009-12-09.