Less talking, more light-sabering!

What is this? Diplomats of the old republic? No, it’s KNIGHTS! and Knights are defined as “People who kill stuff.” That’s why I say: Less talking and more Light Sabering!

Don’t you hear that? A Sith Fleet is attacking! I’m not interested in your interpersonal nuances. No, I don’t want to rescue anyone. Why are my hands empty? There is nothing in my hands. There should be a light saber in each one, and I should be swinging them at droids and faceless dudes who will clatter to the ground by the hundreds before my withering assault.

Now I’m looking in crates. What’s in this crate? A repair kit? Parts? Garbage like all the other crates? What I’m hoping to find is a light saber, as well as a ticket to the planet of AssKickWithSaberia.

Okay, now wait. Who are you? Hello, now you’re going to tell me all about energy shields. That’s great, sure, just chatter away Mr. NPC, talk talk talk talk. If, of course, by “Energy Shields,” you mean, “Light Sabers.” And by “activating” them, you mean “Swing then indiscriminately at Sith warlords.” No? Then STOP WITH THE TALKING!

Rwwaarhh! Jedi ANGRY! Jedi want KILL now!

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Rwaarggghh, grr, smash! SMASH CRATES! Tei’lek … KILL Twi’lek! Attack the Hutt! Gun down Jawas like sacks of leaky meat!

…Actually, this is pretty cool. I think I’ll be a Light-Side Jedi.

Score: 7.43; Total Votes: 2782 as of 2009-12-09.

I’m sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend broke up. She seemed perfect for you. You know. From what I could gather on IRC.

EGAH! It’s the most feared Sith Lord of any of the Star Wars Galaxies servers!

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