WarioWare can easily bring about marital difficulties.
My wife and I have had a tight marriage, with the exception of that time we started using the Sims to make all our family decisions and things got a little hairy.
But then this past week in Wal*Mart we were looking through the Game Boy Advance games to see what we could use for long car trips. Front and center, there was a display for WarioWare, that crazy cartridge featuring hundreds of minigames that you play for five seconds at a time. “Oooh, what about THAT one?” my wife asks. “Would I enjoy that one?”
That’s a perfectly innocent question, and I thought I was giving an innocent answer. “I dunno sweetie,” I said. “There’s all sorts of little games that happen really fast, so it’s high pressure. You might not like that.”
She clutched the package to her chest. “What, you think I can’t handle a little pressure? That I can’t play fast games?”
I had the sensation a trap had been sprung. “No no, I was just thinking –”
“Is it because I’M A GIRL!?”
Oh man, there was NO place to go from there. We ended up buying the game, but I’ve hardly gotten to play it yet. My wife bundles herself up in a ball on the couch frantically pounding on buttons, obsessed with demolishing the game. Sometimes she throws pillows. Whenever I manage to sneak a game in edgewise, she claws my shoulder with both hands and screams in my ear as I play: “Brush the teeth! Pick the nose! No no, eat the apple! CATCH THE TOAST!!” Until I screw up – which isn’t long – and then she snatches it away to “show me how it’s done.”
This isn’t the woman a married, but rather a woman who sleeps fitfully at night only to spring upright and cry out “Shake the tree! SKIJUMP!” before collapsing back into bed. Do you think we need counseling?
I have to ask myself: What would the Sims do?
Score: 8.38; Total Votes: 1808 as of 2009-12-09.