With rain clouds coming, I had to pull a Project Gotham with the riding lawnmower.
This weekend the weather looked good when I trudged out to the shed and fired up the riding lawnmower. I eased ‘er out onto the brick walkway and then brought her around into the grass and started the blades. But I couldn’t have done more than one lap around the yard when I saw the black clouds on the horizon.
Nasty looking clouds. Puffy, angry ones. Heavy with rain.
So I kicked it up a notch and went a little faster, knowing that I had the whole back yard and the front to take care of. Then, over the whirr of the motor, I heard the shuddering boom of distant thunder. I ground to a stop next to my brother, who pulled off his baseball cap and squinted at the clouds. “You’d better pack it in,” he told me.
But no WAY was I going to waste a couple hours tomorrow mowing the lawn. I shifted into neutral, revved the engine, and hunkered down into my seat. “Watch me,” I sniffed. Then I popped the clutch and took off in a shower of grass clippings, flames spewing from my exhaust.
I hit the first corner so hard the mower did a powerslide. I caught big air off the tree roots on lap seven. I even had that baby up on two wheels at one point. My brother kept calling out lap times and kudos, you know, Project Gotham style. I musta had 150 kudos by the time I finished the yard and roared onto the sidewalk, jamming the emergency brake so that I slid sideways into the shed as the downpour started.
Wait ‘til you see what I can do with the edger.
[Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Court Reese.]
No, I’m not bragging or anything. It’s nothing.
You should see how my brother drives the zamboni.
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