Hello kind shopkeeper, I’m here to examine your pottery. And by ‘examine’ I mean ‘smash until gems come out.’

Hello kind shopkeeper! Might I inquire as to the proprietary status of the jars outside of your entryway? They were yours? Oh, in that case I do humbly apologize. I inadvertently picked them up and threw them against the side of your house. All of them, one at a time. Mistakes do happen!

Now then, let’s talk business. So, what is it that you sell? I see, you sell potions. Red potions and blue potions, eh? Hold on one second, I hate to interrupt. Is that a vase you have in the corner of the room? Next to the stool? Hold on a second, I’d like to take a closer look. OH NO! Did I smash it? I really just wanted to turn it around to look for a maker’s mark, but somehow I inadvertently pulled out my sword and jumped at it, swinging frantically, my little legs whirling to rush after the gem that popped out to stuff it greedily into my booty bag. I don’t know how that happened. Oops, I seem to have smashed your stool as well.

My bad!

Now, we were talking about potions weren’t we? Yes yes, do go on. Red potions … and blue potions. Fascinating. Perhaps I could hear you better if I jumped behind the counter here? Yes, go on, go on. Potions you say. WHOA! You’ve got a whole back room back here. Can I take a look? You stay right there.

HOLY CRAP! (Pardon my language). What you have back here is AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF POTTERY! You have no idea what a collection like this is worth. Might I take a look at – oh no, don’t bother to get up. I just wanted to pick up this vase and examine its fine worksmanshi–SMASH! Oh man, it just slipped out of my hands and hit the opposite wall really really hard, I don’t know how that happened. Hey, you wouldn’t mind if I practiced my spinning sword attack in here, would you? I’ll be extra careful. Oops! Oh, oops! And – Oops! Here, let me put this one back on the shelf – oops!

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What a mess I’ve made! No no, stay right where you are. All get all these hearts and gems cleaned up lickety-split! You won’t even know I was here.

Score: 8.3; Total Votes: 2272 as of 2009-12-09.

Thank you, Legend of Zelda! I finally have a vehicle to vent my rage against … plants!

Our PC game isn’t delayed; I prefer the term, “Extended Development.”

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