Thank you, Legend of Zelda! I finally have a vehicle to vent my rage against … plants!

Oh THANK you, Legend of Zelda! Before the newest Zelda game, my seething hatred for greenery had no outlet. My pent-up rage against small, leafy green shrubs and bushes simply festered, my lust for flora mutilation unrequited.

But look at me now! I’m a lean, green, lawn-mowing machine! I’m like John Deere with a sword. My prepubescent ages of torment are over – now I’m a MAN. Even salad bars quake in fear before me.

The world is a better place now that small children are being trained to grab sharp objects, step outside their house, and destroy every sign of flora on God’s green earth, leaving nothing at their backs but stumps and dirt.

HALLELUJAH!!


Victim Pic Small

Hello, little plant. SWISH! SMAQ!

Not so tuff now, are ya?


Score: 6.61; Total Votes: 2926 as of 2009-12-09.


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That’s a typo – my emoticon is not actually drooling.

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Hello kind shopkeeper, I’m here to examine your pottery. And by ‘examine’ I mean ‘smash until gems come out.’

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