But sir, Battle.net’s policy about disconnects makes no exceptions if your house blows up. It’s in the EULA.

Sir I’ve been doing tech support for Blizzard for over a year now. I know that End-User-License-Agreement inside and out. Yah, yah, I know, it’s a huge unwieldy document … believe me, I know that nobody reads it before they start playing … calm down, sir. I can understand that you’re frustrated because your house blew up in the middle of a critical game, but I can’t go back and adjust your Battle.net rankings. It’ll count as a disconnect and show up on your permanent record.

Okay, fine, I’ll show you. Call up the EULA right now from the web site … oh … right I forgot, your house has been blown up. Okay, next time you’re online, look up the license agreement. It’s right underneath the paragraph about dismemberment and right before the part entitled “Article VII: An attack from a mass of Sorceresses totally sucks ass and anyone who does it is a total jerkoff.” Right above that there’s a whole paragraph about what we do if your house blows up during play. You’d be surprised how often we deal with that.

Well, actually, I guess there is one way to make an exception. If we can get an email from the account of the guy you were playing against stating that he wishes the game to be stricken from the records, then I can remove the results. Hah hah! Like that’s ever going to happen, you whining loser.

Oh, wait, did I uh … I said that aloud and forgot to put you on hold, didn’t I? Aherm, yah, it’s been a long day.


Victim Pic Small

Okay, next call. Hello, Battle.net tech support! Uh … no, nope, there are no lesbians here. Sorry.


Score: 8.51; Total Votes: 1930 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
Anything less than third-degree burns is no reason to quit a perfectly good game of WarCraft III.

Next
I’m being hounded by some elf dude just ‘cuz I kicked his rear in Warcraft.

Back To Index


Links to This Article

Links In This Article