I’m just too nice for all of these ‘Open Ended’ RPGs.
Hello, my name’s Kevin. I’ve been roleplaying for most of my life, which is how I found the address of this support group, stapled crookedly to the moist bulletin board just inside the entrance to Skeeve’s Gaming and Card Collectables shop.
You see, the problem I have is that I find it difficult to roleplay a mean person. I guess I’m just what you’d call a naturally nice, sensitive guy. For instance, take that new Divine Divinity game. It’s totally open season on there. So, I decide to play a character who’s a real dick. In fact, that’s what I named him. “Dick.” He was a thief.
[Groans of understanding.]
But the spirit is willing where the penile drive is weak! I just couldn’t bring myself to be a jerk. When the innkeeper who rescued me said I was free to use any of his provisions, I just couldn’t force myself to slit his throat, hang his body in the closet, and sell all of his china. Instead, I thanked him. And I gave him a pair of boots.
[Rumbles of ascension.]
Later I told the town mayor I’d rescue some children. And I did. Dick just can’t be a jerk! He’s flaccid!
[Everyone talks at once.]
Well, sure. Yeah, I pen and paper roleplay, as well. Okay, I’ll join the group. My favorite character is a level 13 Bard. Yeah, he’s got a +5 Shadow Dagger. Sure, you can borrow it. You’ll give it back, though, right? Right?
Ah, look! It’s the town mayor. I’ll ask him what happened to the missing orphans. Oh – yeah, you’re right, it might be scary to approach him in full armor. Could you hold it for me?
Score: 7.58; Total Votes: 2063 as of 2009-12-09.