Attention people of the Morrowind Expansion Pack: Do you, too, wish to bring it?
Allow me to answer on your behalf: Yes, yes you do.
Back in the early days of Morrowind I requested that the people of the town of Balmora Bring It, and bring it they did. It was brung. They bronged it. And as a result, that stupid po-dunk town was littered wrists-to-ankles with a string of corpses nearly two hundred yards wide – at least, by my estimation, as far as I could tell while I was running from the guards.
But now I see here from the cover of the box that there’s a whole new area of the game to explore in this expansion pack. What’s this? Mournhold, the ancient capital city? I bet it’s full of people falling over themselves with the desire to Bring It. Oh look, Goblins? Bring It. Liches? It-Bringers. “Mysterious Fabricants?” Look, I know how they can answer the mystery: By Bringing it. There’s even what they’re calling Epic-Sized dungeons, in which IT will be BRUNG – that much I’m willing to put in writing.
My desire to have it Brought to me and answered in kind stems as you might suspect from my ancient claymore, unearthed from timeless crypts, which I have chosen to dub “Righteous Rage.” It’s difficult to read the runes etched along the hilt by ancient hands, so encrusted are they with the blood of the unbelievers, but allow me to translate. That’s a “B” followed by an “R” and then an “I” “N” “G” … aw, you know the rest. Those ancients, they were on to something.
Yessir, I never met an ancient I didn’t like. Although, if I did, it wouldn’t be for his lack of the it bringing, that’s for sure. I think. Read that back to me…
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