I’m voting on a straight “Video Game” platform.
In previous elections I just went into the booth and punched wild, all Florida-Style. But now that I’m a little more responsible and less knee-jerk when it comes to politics, I’ve settled down and did my research to ensure that come Election Day, each and every vote of mine is purely Pro-Videogame.
It’s a little hard to get all the facts. I mean, it’s not like “Gun Control,” where everybody’s pretty much out in the open about where they stand. As far as I can tell, there’s no aggressive videogame lobby yet – hmm, now there’s an idea! – so you have to go to other sources. Like old Oprah appearances.
Myself? I combed through the press and through CSPAN archival material. For instance, one time they showed footage of Grand Theft Auto during a debate on CNN and off to the side I caught Republican Incumbent R. Samuelson pumping his fist with glee. He sure got my vote.
The tough part was deciding how to vote for local propositions. For instance, that controversial new airport? I voted in favor of it. That way the newest version of Flight Simulator will hopefully render my house.
Similarly, I voted in favor of the freeway extension over by the port district, since it’ll make for some cool jumps if they ever set the next version of Midtown Madness in my city.
It’s hard to be a good citizen, but as an American, that’s my job.
In general, I like to vote for more defense spending, since I believe this country would be better off with … railguns.
Score: 7.84; Total Votes: 1865 as of 2009-12-09.