Look here, I want Mario Sunshine for Christmas … Or I’m gonna start livin’ the dream, baby!

Hey there, step lightly. This whole yard is covered by about six inches of mud right now. Why? Because I’ve been waiting for months and I still don’t have a copy of Super Mario Sunshine. It’s time to take matters into my own hands – or, at the very least – to strap them to my head.

Here, have some chalk. Go ahead, graffiti up that tree. Done? What’s that supposed to be, a turkey? Oh, it’s a moose. I guess those are antlers. No matter, watch what I can do with this baby: WAAA-TAAAHHH!!

Yah, haha! Sheared the leaves right off. Some of the bark, too. Uh, I hope that tree lives. No matter, the point is, your shameless graffiti is gone! We live in a cleaner, happier neighborhood because of my timely intervention. Hang on, look! The neighbor’s dog! For some reason the poor beast is covered in mud. I can fix that – WAAA-TAAAHH!!

Whoa, flung that lil’ pup all the way across the yard like a wet, furry rocket. Looks like he splashed some mud onto the fence. I can clear that right up – WAAA-TAAH! Damn, those fenceposts are pulling free like pins in a bowling alley. Oops. I think I just put one through the window. Ah, the wet, muddy dog is using the broken fencepost as a ramp and he’s fleeing into the neighbor’s living room in terror.

Hmm. I hear things being broken inside. Well, help me carry the hose, here. It looks like I’ll have to go in and clean that place up.


Victim Pic Small

You’d think paint wouldn’t peel from aluminum siding so easily.


Score: 7.88; Total Votes: 2189 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
When it comes to Team-Killing, I’m a conscientious objector.

Next
I’m voting on a straight “Video Game” platform.

Back To Index


Links to This Article