Team killing is a disease, and I’m not the cure

Let me paint you the picture, right? Wake Island. Battlefield 1942. We’ve got this wedge-shaped island locked down, right? The upper flag is in contention, but we’ve got some armor on the way. I’m holding down the Southwest part of the island with a couple other GIs.

Our team is working together. We’re SMOOTH. We’re tight. We’re in control. We’re like a hive, man. You hear me? A HIVE. Our island defense was impenetrable. I was feeling good, watching one of our guys named “Beefmeat” manning the AA guns take out another Japanese Zero, when this Newb on my team gets up onto the turret of my tank. “Good deal,” I think, “I’ve got another gunner.”

Suddenly, with a single prolonged unremorseful burst of fire, he machine-guns Beafmeat right there in the AA gun! I couldn’t believe it. What a moron. What a jerk. I hate teamkillers. Guys like that really spoil a game.

Beafmeat was even more enraged than I was. He came back a moment later with a bazooka. Suddenly, my tank exploded from under me! I was killed instantly in a pile of molten shrapnel. “You son of a bitch!” I typed. I respawned and saw Beafmeat over by the flag, so I machine-gunned him to the gut until he collapsed. I felt better; justice had been served.

“Teamkiller!” some guy typed, moments before I was sniped in the head by a teammate from the airfield. I howled in rage and was going to get revenge, but I saw yet another teammate blow apart the sniper with a bazooka. “Stop the teamkilling!” he said, just moments before someone ran him over with a jeep and said, “Take that, teamkiller!” Then the jeep was blown up by one of our tanks, which prompted revenge.

Two minutes later, when the Japanese walked unopposed across the island and onto our airfield, they were delighted to find twelve American GIs ignoring them to kill each other in a battle royal. I myself was up on the roof trying to stab Beafmeat with a knife before he could bazooka another teammate.

The Newb who started it had long since logged off.

[Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader and Battlefield aficionado MutantMan 10.]


Victim Pic Small

Yah, Teamkilling. It’s like a cancer. Except, it’s not as intelligent as cancer.


Score: 8.99; Total Votes: 2286 as of 2009-12-09.


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