If only I had known space travel was so easy before I bought my Ferrari

I wish I had done a little more reading before I bought my new jet-black Ferrari 456M GT with the v12 engine. Sure, my new car accelerates like a fighter jet and drives at skin-melting speeds in unparalleled comfort, but it can’t go into space.

What brought this up? Well, none other than computer game designer John Carmack. In this CNN article about space travel, Carmack tells us: “I thought to myself, you know, for less money that I spend on Ferraris the past decade, I think I can make my own spaceship.”

DAMMIT! If only I had known that before I bought my Ferrari, I could be knocking on the window of the international space station and asking if they had any Grey Poupon by now. I could be an interstellar cosmonaut, surfing the spacewaves with one foot on the gas and another in the future.

But instead, all I have is a lousy Italian sports car with two half-naked women making out in the passenger seat.


Victim Pic Small

Hey, hey! Scoot over ladies, I can’t reach the gearshift. I could be on the moon by now, but instead I’m going to my condo in the city with you two and a trunk full of dirty movies. Life is cruel.


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