Lemme tell you about the geek that got away…

Welcome back! In case you just joined us, Jimmy here has set himself up near a Starbucks just on the edge of the University Campus.

Yah, you see, the cool weather and the proximity to the Starbucks makes this here rock I’m sitting on great for geeking. Shh, keep your voice down, but look down there, across the grass – yep, a Software Etc. store. Geeks congregate there. That makes this area here between the two sorta a geek thoroughfare, practically a spawning ground.

Is that so?

You gotta learn to watch their habits. You’ll see a few wander by this afternoon, stop at the software place, then come over here for some tall ridiculously overpriced jug of coffee before heading back to the Computer lab or dorm rooms. They won’t come out again until at least two in the morning.

And what are you using as bait there?

Oh, right, this is a fresh copy of uh, The Thing. Feel that? Still warm. Geeks are a picky species. You know. You can’t bait ‘em with yesterday’s games. Until a couple of weeks ago I was using Morrowind, but now most of ‘em have it. Earlier this year they couldn’t get enough of Medal of Honor. I’ll tell you something, The day Battlefield 1942 comes out, it’s gonna be a feeding FRENZY. I’m gonna bring my pickup truck. Whoa! Look here, we got a nibble.

What kind of geek is that?

Judging by the hair I’d say he’s one of those A/V geeks, you know, when he’s not playing games he’s in the video editing lab or playing with the audio board in the student playhouse. Yeh, yep he sees it – he’s looking around – now, you don’t want to pull up on your software too fast, you gotta wait for ‘em to really take it. Okay, he’s reading the back of the box. Kid probably has The Thing on DVD already. More likely he has a burn from the ‘net. Oh, here he goes, he’s putting it into his bookbag – Hiii-YYAAHH!

Wow, he’s really putting up a fight. Ooh, now he’s on all fours.

Tricky buggers, ain’t they? Geeks are, by their nature, a smart species. Just last week I had a calculus geek actually bite through the line. Walked off scott-free with a copy of the Fellowship of the Ring DVD. Here, help me get this guy up onto the rock so we can take a look at him.

That’s a fine geek you’ve got there.

Yep, this one looks like a Freshman, though. Let’s throw this little guy back. He might someday run the projector in the student center! Run along, geek! Get outta here!

What’s your favorite geek story?

Ah yah, everyone’s got one. The Geek that got away. Yeah, it was a 200-pounder, a kid in a black Akira Tee-shirt. Probably a Junior. Engineering major, I think. I had a Collector’s Edition Diablo II out there and he went for the whole thing, tucked it right into his gut with both hammy arms. I tugged, he tugged back, we musta fought for a half an hour. The Old Man and the Geek, as Hemmingway might have said. You know what? He finally drug my truck over 200 feet before my line finally snapped. He ran right into traffic, he did, but kept on going. Oh yah. That was the one. You don’t often get one of those on your line.


Victim Pic Small

Worst part was I lost my copy of Diablo II. But, hell, I got a story from it, you know?


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