I think the issue here is that the ‘Horrifying Human Wave Attack’ is simply not the best multiplayer strategy.

Well, let’s think it out, right? So, we’re playing ten-on-ten games of Battlefield 1942. You and me? We’re like the leaders of our team. They look up to us. They count on us. And, so far, the best strategy we’ve come up with is the “Horrifying Human Wave Attack.”

Now, we know that this strategy worked for the Soviets in the Second World War. They would pour out of forests the Germans thought impassible like water gushing from a sieve. And after they were all dead, more Russians kept coming, and more, and more. Eventually, it worked. But see, I think the thing to remember is that the Russians had Hundreds of Thousands of soldiers. We have … well, ten, but I’d hardly count Stewie ‘cuz we can’t stop him from camping the planes.

No, we’ve only got a handful of us. A typical Horrifying Human Wave Attack consists of you, me, Aaron and Jeff running at a Sherman tank with our knives out. It’s not really that horrifying. In fact, it scarcely counts as a “wave.” Or, for that matter, an “attack.”

I think our new strategy should take advantage of Battlefield’s many vehicles and combined arms. Wait. Hang on. Hold up – I’m – I’m coming up with a new plan. This is SHEER GENIUS. I’ve got it.

It’s a little something I call the “Horrifying Wedge-Shaped Formation of Kamakazi Jeeps.” YES! Round up the boys, we’re logging in!!

Victim Pic Small

C’mon boys! Let’s get those Jeeps lined up and those knives ready!

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