I’ve blown $240 this past month because the girl on the game tips hotline is hot

Hello, this is Jenny speaking! Welcome to the Vivendi/Universal TipLine. Thank you for calling. You will be charged $.99 cents a minute. You must be 18 or older to use this service. This call may be monitored for customer service purposes. For help with Warcraft III, press ‘1.’ For help with–

Hi baby, it’s me, Jason. Of course I’m 18 or older, but how old are you? You bet I want Warcraft, I love the way you say “orc” with what are probably pouty, pouty lips. *beep*

You’ve chosen … Warcraft III! … A game of fantastic strategy in a world torn asunder.

When you say “Fantastic,” I can’t help but think of your chest. OH MAN, I almost want to hang up and redial to hear you say “asunder” again.

For single player hints and tips, press ‘1’. For help with multiplayer, press ‘2.’ For questions about–

Oh honey I don’t play solo, no way. Not with you in the hizz-ouse. *beep*

You’ve chosen … Warcraft III … Multiplayer … For tips about the Humans, press ‘1.’ For advice on using the Orcs, press ‘2.’ If you’d like help with the Undead, press ‘3.’

Ew.

If you’re looking to play with the Night Elves, press 4.

Sexy as it is when you say “Orcs,” I’m going to have to select Night Elves, Jenny. Because I want you to help me with my “wood.” Heh, heh. *beep*

You’ve chosen … Night Elves! … For information about good starting builds, press ‘1.’ For cool tips on how you can get on top with your offense, press ‘2.’

Get on top – oh, oh God yeah – Oh put me on top, Jenny! I want to be on top! *beep*

You know, uh, it’s me.

Yeah baby, it sure is! Gimmie some more numbers!

No no, really, it’s me, Jenny. The phone system broke down earlier so I’ve been taking the calls in person all afternoon. Including your last five.

You uh – oh – Hi Jenny! You’ve been, uh, listening to these?

Yes.

…not the one with the orcs?

Oh, I recorded the one with the orcs.

I didn’t really mean that thing I said about the Peon sandwich.


Victim Pic Small

Jenny? Hello? Jenny? Can I have your phone number?I mean … your other number? Well … crap. I don’t even OWN Warcraft III.


Score: 9.07; Total Votes: 2697 as of 2009-12-09.


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