This Nintendo Booth Was Built Atop the Carpeted Remains of Your Forefathers

You! Little man. I’ve heard enough of your lip. I’ve worked the convention circuit for thirteen years – Union ID 6044840 – and I’ve seen stuff that would shrink a man’s testicles. Take this here Nintendo booth. We like to call it “Never-endo.” It’ll take us over a week to put this booth together – but that’s just on the surface. In reality this booth is a part of history. Like the Great Wall of China. You know how many people died while building this booth again and again year after year? Seventeen. Union boys, each and every one. We don’t slow down any here – just bow our heads, the Chaplin here says a few words, and then we carpet over the body and plant a Kiosk where they fell. I can’t even remember the name of the guy underneath the Starfox display here. A good man. Kept riveting until the blood loss killed him.

This year it looks like we’ll pull through. Look at Janice there. Fell off a ladder this morning, they stapled together the wounds and she’s back up on the scaffolding. The show goes on, cheesepuff. Like a hockey game. Stitch ‘em up and get ‘em back in there. So stop your whining about the severed arm, put the hammer in your other hand, and GET BACK ON THAT BOOTH BOY.


Victim Pic Small

Somebody get a mop.


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