I Didn’t Mean to Read the Star Wars Spoiler Page

I’m really sorry, guys, I know it was against the rules of the club but I couldn’t help it. I was surfing the web looking for info about the new Force Commander patch and saw a link to Sebulba’s Podrace Emporium, which had an update about how Gasgano’s Podracer worked, and I couldn’t help but check out the update they mention referring to the Imperial News Net page which had in their fresh links section a new page about a cool technique for building lightweight Mandalorian battle armor, and you KNOW I was all over that like white on rice.

But down at the bottom it mentions Boba’s appearance in Episode II as a reference source so I had to check that out to make sure they were retaining the appearance of the fibercord whip/grappling device in the new movie – totally innocent, you know! – but the pics page had a link to the spoiler page, only it wasn’t clearly labelled, and when I got there I was like, “no no no!” and I went to scroll down so I could click the homepage button and get the hell out of there but I missed the scrollbar and dragged my mouse down the page and accidently highlighted the text about what happens to Boba in Episode II and OOHhhh … ohhhh God … I can’t believe they would do it …

No, of course I’m not going to tell you! My eyes have seen what no man was capable of enduring, the forbidden fruit of knowledge, what no mortal must know! Oh God not Boba … not our dear Boba … Boba was … oh no how could they … oh Boba… Oh God BOBA!! Nooo!! BOOBBAA!!

I can’t stay in the club, guys. I just can’t. If you knew what I knew, you’d understand. Oh Boba. Boba Boba Boba … Boba Boba … Boba Boba Boba Boba Boba Boba Boba ….

[Transcript dissolves into incoherent sobbing]


Victim Pic Small

I’m sorry, I accidently clicked on “View Results” before I hit “Vote.” Does that mean I gave up my chance to vote? I’m so confused.

What would IG-88 do?


Score: 5.29; Total Votes: 1817 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
I’ve Been Defending This Flag since You Were in Your Father’s Scrotum

Next
Do Not Interrupt Me When I Lick the Lucky Kitty

Back To Index