Sir, I Really Think It’s a Bad Idea to Call Our New 3D Card ‘the GeForce 5 Mi-A55’

Uhm, sir, may I interrupt, uh, sir, please? It’s about the new product the board intends to roll out after our Ti400 series of 3D accelerator cards. Down here in engineering we just got word that our next-gen cards will go to market as the Mi-A55 series. I know that it’s, uh, I know the board approved it and all but there are some serious ramifications of that name on paper that I’d like to bring to the board’s attention. Uhm, with your permission.

Okay, hang on while I unfold this little chart I had some of the boys draw up. Listed below are some examples of Mi-A55 in common usage. I think you can see how this can lead to confusion – if not downright giggling – among the consumer audience:

  • “Thanks to advanced compression technology, I’m able to pull even more polygons per second out of Mi-A55.”
  • “If you think this sucker burns now, just wait to you overclock Mi-A55!”
  • “Although Mi-A55 is quite huge, it’ll still fit snugly into any standard slot.”
  • “It’ll take years before PC games are able to pump everything they can out of Mi-A55.”
  • “Mi-A55 is a powerful beast, ready to perform.”
  • “I tried several 3D accelerators, but Mi-A55 blew them all away.”
  • “Engineers shoved an extra-wide bus into Mi-A55.”

Well, sirs, I know this is a real hornet’s nest. But if I may, the engineering department has some suggestions to fix the problem. The new DirectX integration we’ve worked on, nicknamed “SuperX,” is pretty appealing to consumers. So, might I suggest we run with that as an abbreviation? We could call it “The GeForce 5 SuX.” Or, if you’d like a compromise, we could run with “The GeForce 5 SuX-A55.” It’ll fly off the shelves!


Victim Pic Small

[Hours later] Okay, cool, I don’t have a problem with
“The GeForce 5 8-Mi B4LL5.”
Anyone? Anyone?


Score: 8.58; Total Votes: 2601 as of 2009-12-09.


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