This Weekend My Friend Kip Taught Me All about Starting Mall Riots
[By Casey Zweigel, Grade 4]
This weekend I hung out with my friend Kip. Kip is big ‘cuz he’s in the fifth grade. He teaches me all kinds of adult stuff, like how to wear gold chains and loose pants. One time I caught him saying the word “pee.”
Kip is angry because the man at the mall won’t let him buy a game called State of Emergency for the PS2. It’s a grownup game. My dad won’t let me play grownup games, he reads all the labels. But one time I found a copy of Grand Theft Auto 3 under his mattress.
Kip said we have to be gangstas now, because the system is holding us down. He made me put on a baseball cap backwards. He kept saying we need to fight the man. What man was he talking about? I hope he wasn’t talking about my dad, ‘cuz he’s awfully big.
Then Kip told me that we need to get subversive to get the game. He said we need to listen to subversive music like Rage Against the Machine or the NFL Fever theme song. I don’t understand what going underwater has to do with fighting whoever the man is, but Kip is really smart.
Kip kept saying, “Your momma!” and I was like, “What about my momma?” and he said “No no, your momma!” and I started to cry ‘cuz I don’t know what my mom’s got to do with anything.
Then Kip said that he knew how he was going to fight the man and get his copy of State of Emergency. He said we needed to start a riot at the mall. I had all kinds of questions, like, “How would a riot help?” and “Why are you so fascinated with my parents?” but Kip just kept talking. He said all you needed to do was throw a gabage can through the window, like Spike Lee in Do the Right Thing. He said it would be just like Compton. He said while everyone was running and screaming and the police were bringing out the dogs and firehoses he would smash the windows and take the game. “We need to prove that these games don’t change how we behave,” he said.
Then my mom brought us cookies and we played Pokemon. The cookies were really really good. Kip said he takes back everything he said about my mother, which was funny, ‘cuz he never got around to saying anything at all.
Someday I hope to be just like Kip.
Hi. So, for show and tell, I brought this brick. It looks ordinary to me, but my friend Kip calls it his gangsta credit card. OKay thanks bye.
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Links to This Article
- I’m the Last Line of Defense between America’s Youth and the Destabilizing Influence of Such Subversive Games as WWF Raw