Crack Soldier of Fortune, Reporting for Duty Sir!

Yes sir!

These modern first person shooters are the pinnacle of realism, and they’re turning me into a combat machine. I’m not saying I’m eager for us Canadians to get into an armed conflict with any of the destablizing influences around the world, but suffice it to say, I’ll be ready if my country needs me!

For instance, many people would be balked by the presence of a locked front door to a secret warehouse. Me? Never! My highly-trained soldier instincts tell me there’s probably a back door, or maybe a window that can only be reached by jumping up and down onto a bunch of crates. Few civilians would think to do it, and experience has shown me that the enemy never expects it!

Sometimes you’ll find a large crate next to a wall that’s too high to jump over. But, you can’t jump up on the large crate, either. Ordinary soldiers would break down weeping at the site of this. They may even talk about going back to Canada. Not me. I’m a walking combat inferno. I know to push a smaller, movable crate next to the bigger crate, so then I can jump up on them both.

It’s true. I lead a dangerous double life.

Now then, I see I’ve gotten my next briefing. I’ve got to flip a switch on the other end of the level. They’re sending me in alone, of course, but as soon as I flip the lever I’m sure the colonel will appear with my next assignment. Take that, you Communist or otherwise undemocratically-aligned terrorist fundamentalist organization of ill-defined national origin!

I pity the government that messes with me.


Victim Pic Small

I’m gonna send those terrorist camping bitches back to the Faulkland Islands!


Score: 7.51; Total Votes: 1396 as of 2009-12-09.


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