Want to Trade Your Fungus Covered Scale Tunic? I Can Offer You a Human Baby in Return.
Ho – hee-eey, you there! I recognize your face, even in your new tunic. You’re that guy I tried to sell my rubicite breastplate to! At the time you seemed shocked that I preferred human babies as currency, but surely by now you’ve gotten used to it. In my circles, at least, I know EverQuest players going through six or eight babies a week while trafficking in really phat lewt. I know a guy who took in a pair of healthy white twins for a single Rune Branded Girdle. True.
But lets not mince words. You have a Fungus Covered Scale Tunic. It gives its user fungal regrowth, an awesome combo for a troll like me. Me? I got baby. Let’s talk business!
How about a small dark-skinned child? Let me send you a pic. See, his teeth are starting to come out! Hmm, you seem offended. Well, then, how about this eight month old. She’s got reddish hair. I’m sure she’ll grow up to be beautiful someday, although you’ll probably sell her for a staff or something long before. No? Don’t like redheaded children? Damn, I’m having a lot of trouble pawning her off. Okay, what if I were to deliver you a fresh, juicy newborn? Hey, don’t run, I’m serious. I’ve got people. I can swing it. Come back! Okay, two babies! And 20K Plats!
[Daily Victim artist Mike “Gabriel” Krahulik is on Vacation until Monday the 27th. Little-known victims have been coming back for a second helping all week!]
That’s it. I’m telling Louie that I don’t want any more redheads.
Score: 6.25; Total Votes: 1389 as of 2009-12-09.
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- Don’t be mislead. The REAL money in organized crime comes from illicit online auctions of online RPG lewt.