You Only Love Me Because of My Unreal Tournament Skills! and Because I Have a Great Body.
I think we’re through, Brian! I want a love that’s going to last, and you only love me because of my Godlike Unreal Tournament skills. And my chest.
Seriously. You don’t care about my career. You never ask me how my day was. It’s falling into a familiar old routine, Brian, and I’ve seen it before. You come home and right away you want to jump into the server with me. I swear unless I’m scoring ultra-kills for you, you don’t care about me. All you care about is my ability to pilot a redeemer through tight corridors, and my buns.
Well listen up! We’re through unless we take a break to get some culture. We’re gonna go out to dinner and we’re going to talk about what you like about art. Then I want to tell you why I think live music is always better than studio music. We’re going to pay for extremely overpriced coffee in a book store. We will talk about what a knob Freud is. We will talk about Marx. We will talk about faster-than-light travel, and possibly why Star Trek 2 was the best of the series. We will not talk about: glancing the ripper, how soon to start pre-loading the rocket launcher, which assault map is best, or the taut firmness of my thighs.
[Daily Victim artist Mike “Gabriel” Krahulik is on Vacation until Monday the 27th. See little-known victims come back for a second helping all week!]
There will be no more spanking – either in UT or anywhere else – until we work this out!
Score: 7.69; Total Votes: 1767 as of 2009-12-09.