Mario Is Teaching My Son to Flash the Wrong Gang Symbols
In this antagonizing world the voice of the individual is so often lost, particularly the solitary voice of a single mother. But please hear me out. I know that many senators and important big people are trying to regulate the video game industry with labels or ratings, but there are so many behavioral problems that they simply fail to address, problems that only a mother can understand.
For example, on the lava levels in the basement of the castle in Mario 64, it is not uncommon for the little plumber (my son’s role model) to have his buttocks set alight. He dances about, grabbing his behind, but eventually recovers – when he does so, he very clearly, just for an instant, flashes the hand symbol of da Bloods.
I know that kids are smarter than to imitate what they see on the TV screen, but frankly if my son were to flash the sign of da Bloods in the supermarket he’d be capped right there in the Alpo aisle. We live in a Crip ‘hood, and my precious angel can’t afford to be frontin’.
Please, please, censor your video game content before someone gets all wu-tang’n’shit on my son’s ass. Thank you, and peace out.
Now Luigi. Luigi is a strong, strong man, as well as a good role model. Did you see the little groove he busts when he gets a star in Mario Party? Oh yeaah, shake what momma gave you, you’re a mean green tall drink of manhood, you are!
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