Please, Distract My Fiance While I Sneak a PS2 onto Our Wedding Gift Registry
Hello, miss? Excuse me miss? Yes, can I talk to you privately for a moment while my fiance browses the CD players? Right, right … Okay, keep your voice down …
Here’s 20 bucks. I need you to distract the woman I’m with, she’s my fiance. See, we’re doing our wedding gift registry – right right! She’s got the little beeper/scanner/gun thing right there, we just point that device at the bar-codes on stuff we want. When we click the button and it appears on our gift list. Very hi-tech.
Well, we had an arguement, and I had to give up my shot at getting a Playstation 2 in order to stop her from getting the stemware with the painted penguins on it. To confound my schemes, she won’t even let me hold the zapper gun. Why? Oh, it’s a long story, but yesterday I went a little bezerk in the DVD aisle of Target and by the time they sedated me I’d zapped half the Lingerie department. So yeah, she’s not letting me get anywhere near the scanner gun.
Anyways, I was just thinking you could fake a seizure and knock into her. Oh, I see, twenty bucks won’t buy a seizure? Well, look, I’m not made of money. What can I get for $25? Maybe some sort of convenient aneurism? Can I talk you into grabbing the fire estinguisher and ripping up the videocamera aisle? I just need ten seconds with that gun!
Fine fine. I’ll just have to go with plan 2, assault with a salad shooter…
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