Silence! Game Designer Derek Smart’s Name Must Only Be Spoken in Hushed Tones
Be still, fool! To date this messageboard has been a forum of quiet discussion about space simulation games. But you come in here, and brazenly shout the name of [whispers] “Derek Smart, PhD,” MENSA member and designer of the BattleCruiser series. Don’t you understand that by speaking his name aloud you summon him? Then he’s going to start posting long essays about his game, which will in turn attract people who like to get on his case and relentlessly mock his refusal to support asanine and obscure computer upgrades like “Windows ME?” Then we’ll have a circus on our hands.
His name should only be spoken reverently, and in italicized font. Lower your voice with regard to his superior stature. Say his name, and the name of his masterwork, with hushed humility. Derek Smart is a lone wolf, a maverick, the most intelligent coder ever to grace gaming with the smooth caressing touch of his soft loving fingers. Derek Smart makes graphics cards faster. Derek Smart makes colorful clothes withstand multiple washings. Derek Smart has already discovered and harnessed the secrets of fusion power with only harmless delicious pure water as a waste byproduct, but as we all know he got screwed by his publisher.
But please, do not speak his name with anything but reverence, or he will arrive in this forum to set the record straight. [Peers warily over shoulder.] Shhhh…hhh…hhh…
[Download the BattleCruiser Millennium Episode 2 Demo and Talk about it in da forums.]
Now that that’s settled, what was this you were saying about preferring PUNY spaceships?
Score: 7.18; Total Votes: 1458 as of 2009-12-09.