My Neverwinter Nights Server Is Just Going to Be a Place for Characters to Get Drunk and Party

HO baby, I can’t wait for NeverWinter Nights. You can see I’ve already plotted out my server’s map on this here sheet of graph paper. Ignore the jelly-smudge, there, that’s not part of the game. You see, I see my server as a sort of “hub,” a place to kick back your steel-toed combat boots and chill following, you know, bustin’ up on other peoples’ servers.

Wham, you login here, right next to the Gazebo covered with carvings of naked Greek dudes and chixx. Now, any time of the night, there’s gonna be people skinny-dippin’ in the lake over here, which I have populated with mermaids. This part over here is like a bitchin’ hot tub.

Then we have the casino, with the attached two-car whorehouse. ‘Cuz, like, you jes’ spent a hard day ‘venturin’, am I right? You want to spend your hard-whacked moolah, ya know? So here you gots your craps and slots and sluts. Biggity-BAM!!

Now like it’s a tradition since Tolkien that the tavern is where the shit always goes down, so you can see what I have here promises to be the biggest town tavern on the net. Six floors, eight bars, twelve dance floors, and 200 varieties of foreign and domestic ale served by greased up professional wrestlers and peasant chicks.

My server doesn’t actually have any dungeons, or monsters, or, uh, plots or anything. See, you’re TIRED of adventuring, you want to take a break, dig? So you jump through a portal and kerpow, you’re getting fresh and funky with NWN’s finest dwarven dudes and elven babes.

It’s like a full service server. Over here I put a temple so that after you’re broke you can get forgiven for what you spent your money on, then you get all blessed up n’ stuff before going back onto one of the normal servers.

Pretty sweet, hunh?


Victim Pic Small

This fountain in the town square sprays nothing but Goldschlager.


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