Forget Everything You’ve Heard, I Have the X-treme Game of the Future
Yo! Yesterday my bud Jay P. Faddington was in here pitching you a fingerboarding videogame, but dudes (and dudette) I’m here to tell you HELLZ NO! If you go with the usual eight-month cheap-ass game development cycle you guys have (oh, I meant that in a good way) then by the time your game ships, little tiny skateboards will be so totally out. It’s already showing signs of Pogging.
What I have today dudes (and dudette) is the future. See, you gotta jump on this. It’s a small skateboard, about a foot long, small enough, as you can see, to totally fit in a bookbag. I call it: DA ELBOW BOARD. See, watch me bust out the mad trixx on your conference room table here. You gots to put your elbows on either end of the board, like feet, right? Then you can kickflip by – owwh – it takes practice an – YES! Did you see that? PHATNESS! Sorry about the scratches.
Okay wait so like watch as I like make a ramp out of my Algerbra books here. Now, I come up and get ready for some MAAAAAAAAAAAAD AIIIIIR! (Move that pitcher of water dude) WHOA! Check that! Big air from Da Elbow Board! Oh, sorry, did that hit your eye?
Man I gotta get some elbow pads.
Anyways, I’m already thinking this thing is gonna go big. I’ve got a deal lined up with Kellogg’s Corn Pops ‘n shat. You want to get in on dis? I’ll sell you the exclusive video game rights for $250K. Okay, 100K. Ten bucks. C’mon I’m hungry.
You just wait. Elbows are gonna be huge by the time school gets back in. Huge.
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