Seriously, Some Kid’s Head Actually Popped When He Saw Star Wars Galaxies.
No man, really. I was actually there when it happened. He was sitting in the chair across the aisle from mine. You know, they had those Star Wars Galaxies Back Room Demos and they were in these tiny, tiny rooms so you simply couldn’t miss it if a guy’s head exploded.
Anyways, they were showing the grassland environments, and the AT-AT Walker that slowly rumbled by. We all looked up in awe as it walked right over us. The whole thing was incredible and lit in realtime by the sun. I heard the kid next to me start to shake and choke, he was so excited. I turned to see if he was okay and he was sweating bullets. I saw that he had a Boba Fett T-shirt on, and jawa stickers all over his bookbag. His E3 nametag said his job title was “Human-Cyborg Relations.”
I asked him if he wanted something to drink, and he nodded, so I reached back to the cooler they have there and grabbed him a Coke. In hindsight, I should have given him water, instead. But my eyes were rooted to the screen as the demo continued. So were his – when I tried to hand him the soda he dropped it on the floor. Twice.
Then we were on Tatooine, and the presenters started talking about droids. It was pretty exciting stuff. And then we walked around behind the sandcrawler. At this point, the dude made the mistake of trying to open his Coke. Of course, it started hissing and was about to explode, so he hurriedly put it up to his mouth and took a big gulp.
Then, while he was still trying to drink, they showed the Krayt Dragon. It was a giant six-story high beast slowly stalking through the sands with the realtime shadow of the sandcrawler stretched across his face. It was too much – the kid took one look at how cool that was and snorted that exploding Coke up his nose. There was a low rumbling growl, but this time it wasn’t coming from the Dragon – it was a noise coming from deep inside this kid’s head. The presentation suddenly stopped and we all turned to look at him.
We could see his lips moving, and I heard him whisper, “That is SO COO-“ Then, POP! Chunks of skull gave way to exploding Coca-Cola and brains. It looked just like when they blew up the Death Star – no no, not in the Special Edition remake, I mean the original 70s Death Star. Juices spewed all over me, the audience, the developers, and Tatooine.
I was kinda mortified, but I don’t blame the kid. That dragon was pretty cool.
I can’t wait to play the game, but I’ll stick to non-carbonated beverages for the first couple of weeks after I buy it.
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