It Is Dangerous to Bathe During an Everquest Game

Ladies and gentlemen, submitted for your approval, a man – pictured here – preparing to relax after work in a warm, refreshing shower. Two stories below, his son lurks in the basement, hopelessly addicted to EverQuest. Our man in the shower secretly suspects that his son runs an Internet pornography ring due to his long hours at the PC, but such thoughts are far from his mind as the warm, refreshing water relaxes his body. He is in bliss.

His son, meanwhile, is tense. On edge. jittering with fear. He is deep in the Mines of Nurga looking for an elusive Burynai Legion Gi for his Cleric, but he has been separated from his guild and danger lurks in every shadow. Morever, he has to pee. Really, really bad.

But he cannot turn away from his PC, lest the monsters engulf him. He must find a safe corner. His legs are crossed; he bounces up and down in agony.

Meanwhile, above him, his father begins to sing from the opera Il Trovatore. His voice is shrill, but not loud enough for anyone to hear. He is at peace. Little does he know that he is hurtling helplessly and uncontrollably toward an egregious destiny.

During the creshendo of the shower-opera, his son discovers a safe corner. Quickly he whips out of his chair and darts into the basement bathroom. He takes care of his business. He can hear via the pipes that someone is in the shower, but he is too distracted to take note. Without heed, he flushes the toilet.

Two stories above and moments later, PAIN pours from the showerhead. His father is suddenly the recipient of gallons of scalding water. His opera dramatically ends; he HOWLS out in agony.

His son hears the cries and believes them to be coming from his Cleric. There is no time to finish zipping up his pants; he bounds out of the bathroom and begins hopping frantically toward his computer as his trowsers fall down below his knees.

The stairway creeks and clatters as his father, soaking wet, wearing little but for a towel and shower cap, bounds angrily down into the basement to scold his unintentionally malicious offspring. Before he can even register his complaint, he discovers his son playing EverQuest with his pants around his ankles.

He points a soapy brush accusingly.

“I KNEW IT!” he says.


Victim Pic Small

Do such things happen for a reason? The mind can only boggle.


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