My Girlfriend Manifests Her Dissatisfaction with Our Relationship by Placing Me in an Enormous Mound of Poop.
It was a terrible mistake to teach her to play Black and White, I can see that now. See, one of the cool things about the game is that you can set it to name all the little villagers after your friends and co-workers. On the surface, this sounded like a good time.
The reality is that it gives me an uncomfortable glimpse into my girlfriend’s psyche.
For example, this weekend I inadvertantly left the garage door open all afternoon. She wasn’t happy when I got home but didn’t say much. However, on the computer I noticed that she had painstakingly taken over an hour to carefully arrange an enormous, uh, pile of – well – dung. Sort of a, shall we say, pooramid. Massive. A 30-story crap. Dwarfing even the largest of structures, the villagers toiled day in and day out in the shadow of this giant mound of … well, you get the picture.
And as I contemplated this massive pile of the bad stuff, I saw – so tiny in comparison – a little tiny villager crawling his way out from under the mass. Any guess as to what his name was?
Yeah, it was me.
She put me in a pile of poop, Jim. Things can’t be going well when, you know, you wake up there.
Thank God she doesn’t play Counter-Strike.
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