Mr. Henderson, I Take Issue with Your Most Recent Thesis, Entitled ‘C1V1L W4R: 4 7URN1NG P01N7 1N 4M3R1C4N H1S70RY’

So then, where to begin? I believe your thesis statement, “Th4 Un10n l4y3d d0wn s0m3 s3r10us 0wn4g3,” is perfectly accurate but unsupported by much of the rest of the paper. Not to mention your gratuitious helping of grammatical problem spots. For example, LOOK at that sentence! Have I taught you nothing? The Union “l41d” down, not “l4y3d” down. And – regional dialects aside – in my class we lay down serious 0wn1j, with an 1j, thank you very much.

Now then. On to Part II, the section entitled “Un10n b3 bus71n’ 0u7 7ha m4d pl4nz y0.” In sentence three you inform the reader that “7ha Un10n b3 411 h4rdc0r3 4n’ br1ng1n’ 0n s0m3 s3r10us hur7 w17h 7h4 ‘4n4c0nd4 pl4n’, w3rd.” You misplaced the comma.

Later in the same section, you describe the Union blockade of Confederate ports by simply stating that the Union was “c4mp1ng.” Class, how many times have we discussed this? You cannot simply accuse the Union of camping, you have to back that up with SUPPORTED FACTS. How were they camping? In what ways were they total whores? How did this make them wusses? Specifics, Henderson! Specifics!

Right. On to Part III, “Gr4n7 G03s 707411y P0s741.” Excellent use of the word “b17chs14p” in the opening paragraph, by the way. But listen here as I read aloud: “Gr4n7 un104d3d s0m3 m4d sk111z 4nd sh0w3d G3n3r41 133 h1s p1mp h4nd 4nd w3n7 411 7h3 w4y to R1chm0nd.”

That is a run-on sentence.

I’ll spare you my commentary on Part V, “Sh3rm4n sm4Qs G30rg14.” D minus, Henderson!

[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Billy Bumpkin]


Victim Pic Small

Yes, Sm4Q! Sm4Q should always have a capital Q. Any other questions?


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