Having Played Crazy Taxi for Six Straight Hours I Cannot Control the Urge to Drive Dangerously Fast to the Nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken

Dude, just give me the keys!

I’ve read the reports and listened to the Senate hearings about how violent video games cause violence, and you and I know that that is a bunch of garbage. There is absolutely no connection between what you play on the screen and what you may do in real life.

Or so I thought.

But after my latest six-hour Crazy Taxi binge on the Dreamcast, I find that I can no longer fight the incredible urge to drive like a freak-ass maniac and peel rubber all the way from my carport to the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I have complete confidence that I can make my ‘79 Volkswagen Scirocco flip doughnuts while sailing through the air above Harbor Boulevard.

So just drop the keys on the table and back away slowly! I mean it this time. That’s it. Slowly. Sloooowly. Step back… *twitch* Clear a path to the front door…

BECAUSE I HAVE TEN CRAZY MINUTES!


Victim Pic Small

[Sound of tires squealing, screams, auto parts hurtling through the air, etc.]


Score: 7.35; Total Votes: 1365 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
Damn My Fat, Fat Fingers!

Next
Mr. Henderson, I Take Issue with Your Most Recent Thesis, Entitled ‘C1V1L W4R: 4 7URN1NG P01N7 1N 4M3R1C4N H1S70RY’

Back To Index