Are You a Wargamer or Some Kind of Communist!?

I’d just like to respond to the childish droppings of yesterday’s poster regarding Panzer Attack Gold Special Forces Edition – the finest casual wargame to come out since the Canadian Forces suppliment to Field Marshall Rundstedt’s European Battle Command “Sturmgruppe Follies” Expansion pack.

First off, he’s whining that some British cowboys scratched the paint on his Panzer without taking shrapnel damage. HELLO!? Listen up, back-door commando, it’s not like any REAL wehrmacht Oberleutnant would allow his Panzers to be so far forward without infantry support. Thanks to you, we’re all speaking English.

More importantly, take a look at the Mark II Grenade shrapnel tables available on PanzerCombat.org. As we all know the secondary movement round takes place immdiately after the primary thrown weapons phase but before grenade effects are calculated, giving the Brits an opportunity to go prone before calculating shrapnel and concussion damage as per Table 4-1-1. Check it out:

Damage = ((4(skill)+2d6) / (Rang+slope)*Offst)-2.5*dist

Then you figure the armor bonuses for the British M1 helmet and subtract any modifiers for the prone position and there’s only like a 1 in 100 chance of shrapnel damage per soldier from a 69-degree sloped surface spread. That’s war, son!

If you can’t do the math, get the hell off the battlefield!!

As for your inability to penetrate an allied pillbox from 200 meters, had you bothered to mouse over the unit in the bunker you would’ve seen that even though a ‘hit’ didn’t register they were probably suffering from the -55% first-round concussive damage penalty as per Table 5-2-1 from the blast. Realistic? No, but that’s what’s called an ABSTRACTION, you know, to keep the gameplay moving along instead of getting mucked down in all the details. That’s what makes Panzer Attack Gold Special Forces Edition such an easy game to play for casual gamers like myself. Ass.


Victim Pic Small

This kinda crap makes me want to go back to miniatures.


Score: 8.04; Total Votes: 1490 as of 2009-12-09.


Previous
I Simply Refuse to Play Any Game That Cannot Correctly Calculate the Muzzle Velocity of a German Panzer IV’s 75MM Main Gun.

Next
Failure to Blink During an Intense Game of Tribes 2 Has Hardened My Contact Lenses beyond Repair

Back To Index


Links In This Article