Hello? I Spilled Zima into My Boyfriend’s Counter-Strike Server
Hello, tech support? Yes I’ll hold.
Sons of bitches. Sure I’ll hold. Eggheaded … mother-whumpin … Anybody home? What kind of music is that? I think it’s the Muzak version of “Zombie” from the Cranberries. Tech support on this campus sucks balls – hello? Oh, uh, oh sorry, I was just talking to myself. That part I said about the balls, that wasn’t recorded for customer service purposes was it?
Anyways, yeah, sorry. The problem is – yes it’s a hardware problem, I think. It’s a PC. Not mine, it’s my boyfriend’s. No, I think it’s his personal machine. I think it was made by the DvD company – well no, that’s what it says on the front drawer thing. Shut up. Aren’t you Frank, the guy who sits across from me in English? I knew it! Look bitch, you can hardly call me stupid after I helped rewrite your mid-term paper last semester, you illiterate moron.
Wait, don’t hang up, this is serious. My boyfriend runs a video game server from his room here, and I just spilled my Zima into it. I know Zima’s a chick drink, ass – I’m a CHICK! Yes. Into the top. No, it’s still on. Yeah, I dunno how to test it. It’s some game he plays, you know, the one with the guys and the guns. Country-Strike or something – yes, that’s it! Counter-Strike.
What do you mean you’re on the server right now? You’re playing it? It’s fine? YOU PUT ME ON HOLD TO PLAY YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAME!?
Don’t call me that. Stop laughing. I’m not the one playing games when I’m supposed to be working. I don’t care if you can get away with it – oh is that so? You think, hunh? Well how about I dump some more ZIMA in this sucker you wall-eyed freak? You like that? Hah hah! Oh – oh God smoke … hello? Hello?
I can’t believe the way you losers are voting. You’re all a bunch of fans of that Counter-Crap game, aren’t you? I would spill something into the web servers, but I drank it all.
Score: 7.69; Total Votes: 2859 as of 2009-12-09.