Hasbro Has Filed an Injunction against My Punk Rock Band, ‘The Frogger Gods.’
Things cool, things cool. ‘Cept for THE MAN comin’ down on my band. Oh no, not “Apoplectic Marios,” we broke up on Wednesday. No dude, new band, “The Frogger Gods,” we got hooked up with this new Lead Singer who does a killer riff on the Deus Ex theme, and this other mofo named -=Roachman=- who rips it up with the lyrics. Yeah, we were jammin in his garage last night and he just busts out with, “My mouse works it optically / lays it on thickly, quickly / uh hunh uh hunh.” You know hooks like that sell.
So last night me and Denny were on Napster, you know, trying to score a copy of the old “exSay istolsPay,” you know how it is, and Denny says let’s like upload some of our stuff. I says, werd. So we put our songs up there and gave ‘em names like, “Anna Kournikova brings Britney Spears to Orgasm” and for eight straight hours we were the number one band on the Internet.
We’re chillin’ this morning, you know, thinking of what we’re gonna call our next song, and then the Fed Ex truck pulls up and we think it’s like BAM, you know, record contract. Like tonight I was gonna have my head out the roof of the limo and no pants on dig? But no, it’s a cease and desist from Hasbro, ‘cuz they like got “Frogger” trademarked.
That shit ain’t right. Jimmy, the dude with the Deus Ex lips, says two years ago he was in this classic games tournament at Palace Park Amusements in Irvine and took the Frogger high score, so like, he IS a Frogger God. They can’t be takin’ that away from him. F the man, you know what I’m sayin’? F the man.
Yah, we’re thinkin’ of renaming the band “Baldur’s Bulging Groin.”
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- This Is from My New Album: I’m Going to Rip Open Your Stomach and Devour the Partially Digested Contents