If They Can Plop a Robot Probe on a Hunk of Rock a Million Miles Away from Earth, Why Can’t They Invent a Fallout:tactics Demo That Downloads Faster?

Consider this a public address to those peeps at NASA: That’s right, stop playing around with your erotic chunks of stone a few million miles away and pay more attention to the problems here on Earth, specifically, with an FTP mirror somewhere near my house!

You saw the news – they took a robot probe that was just supposed to take pictures of a rock from orbit and, on a whim, they fired off some retro-thrusters or something and actually landed on it. They landed on it. That’s like dropping a videocamera (sans tripod) off of a building and having it send you back video after it lands. Except, imagine that the video camera cost a few hundred million dollars, and the building was 196 million miles tall. Now, imagine for a second that you’ve been sitting here 40 minutes waiting for a 125 megabyte file to download from a fileserver that can’t be more than 25 miles away. I think we can all agree that our priorities are messed up.

That’s right NASA: if you wanna gather some useful information from the stars, why not have your zillion dollar satellites beam me back MY FRICKING GAME DEMO? And furthermore, you jackoffs at – whoa, wait a second, it just finished downloading.

Okay, sorry about that NASA, you, uh, keep on doing that thing with the rocks and the spaceships and stuff. I didn’t mean to get so testy.

Victim Pic Small

Actually, we should just start randomly flinging satellites everywhere, you know, just landing them at random. Maybe put webcams on all of them. That would rock.

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I Can’t for the Life of Me Figure Out *Slurp* the Reason My Keyboard Is So Sticky

No No, Pikapuppy, I Don’t Choose You!

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