Impossible! How Could He Possibly Have Killed Me? My Bunny Hopping Was Flawless in Both Planning and Execution!
I spawned in, and immediately moved toward the enemy base. I had my route all planned out, juking toward the jump-pad and then instead making a beeline for the ramp. But, here, friend, is the crux of my flawless strategem: I was going to hop the entire time!
I was going to hit the space bar at regular intervals. Perhaps even hold it down. I was to leap! leap! leap! leap! Ad infinitum! Thus rendering me immune to rockets or rails, bullet or buckshot!
And yet, as I hopped up the ramp – Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! – I was incinerated by a rocket, my innards spewing forth like the undulating whipped topping of a frosted mocchachino.
But HOW!?? I was jumping up and down! JUMPING! Up! … and down! Certainly I could see getting hit by a rocket were I foolish enough to jump once. Or even twice. But my continuous jumping – jumping over and over again, as one would in real combat – certainly the enemy couldn’t have seen that coming!
He must’ve been cheating.
Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huy-aRRGGHHKKgurgle.
Maybe I should try a different player model.
Doah! Doah! Doah! Doah! Doah! Doah! Doah! Do-HHURRRKKsplatter
Score: 7.1; Total Votes: 1490 as of 2009-12-09.