Daily Victim Archive

Just What was the Daily Victim?

The Daily Victim was GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populated Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim was posted. The most beloved victims returned in their full-color feature and continued story each week.

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Articles About the Daily Victim

DateTitleAuthor
2000-10-02 Who Makes This Thing? Dave 'Fargo' Kosak, Mike 'Gabriel' Krahulik, Lemuel 'HotSoup' Pew
2000-10-02 How Does it Work? Dave 'Fargo' Kosak and Mike 'Gabriel' Krahulik
2001-02-01 Anatomy of A Daily Victim Dave 'Fargo' Kosak and Mike 'Gabriel' Krahulik
2001-07-30 Top 10 Daily Victims Dave 'Fargo' Kosak
2002-03-01 The Artist and the Madman Gamespy Staff
2002-03-01 How Does it Work? Dave 'Fargo' Kosak and Lemuel 'HotSoup' Pew
2009-02-06 Excerpt From Fargo Fond Farewell Dave 'Fargo' Kosak

The Daily Victims

Date Score Votes Links To This Links In This Total Color Title
2000-10-02 6.15 1,590 0 0 0 No Those Guys Who Ganged up on Me in Starcraft the Other Day Were Probably Lovers
2000-10-03 8.49 3,506 6 0 6 No I Overclock All of My Appliances
2000-10-04 5.17 1,165 0 0 0 No Those Guys in Customs Really Need to Lighten up
2000-10-05 7.60 2,892 2 0 2 No Hello? I Spilled Zima into My Boyfriend's Counter-strike Server
2000-10-06 6.51 2,335 1 0 1 No There's Not Enough Force Feedback in My Life
2000-10-09 4.43 1,716 0 0 0 No Your Entire Computer Network Is at the Mercy of My Razor Sharp Beaver Teeth
2000-10-10 7.95 3,353 5 0 5 No I've Been Defending This Flag since You Were in Your Father's Scrotum
2000-10-11 5.19 1,853 0 0 0 No I Didn't Mean to Read the Star Wars Spoiler Page
2000-10-12 6.47 1,793 2 0 2 No Do Not Interrupt Me When I Lick the Lucky Kitty
2000-10-13 7.45 1,365 1 0 1 No It's Not That I Don't like Pookie. I'm Simply Suggesting That We Find a Web Site Mascot That Is Less Likely to Pee on My Head.
2000-10-14 8.05 1,573 7 2 9 Yes This Week's Winner: Overclocked Appliance Guy
2000-10-16 7.51 1,682 2 0 2 No Those Things Said about My Mom on the Tribes Server Last Night Weren't True
2000-10-17 7.46 1,685 1 0 1 No I Couldn't Stop Eating Meat
2000-10-18 7.80 2,248 4 0 4 No Why, Yes. My New Job Title Is Just an Excuse to Play Asheron's Call All Day.
2000-10-19 4.75 1,017 0 0 0 No Why Do We Eat This So-called "Hot Sauce?"
2000-10-20 6.37 978 1 0 1 No The Marketing of New Catch Phrases Is a Serious, Difficult Business
2000-10-21 8.71 2,340 4 2 6 Yes This Week's Winner: the Discovery of an Enemy Flag Base Has Destroyed the Shallow Cocoon That Was Once My Life
2000-10-23 6.12 1,072 0 0 0 No Mario Is Teaching My Son to Flash the Wrong Gang Symbols
2000-10-24 7.94 1,606 1 0 1 No The Exploding Toilet Was the Best Part of Lethal Weapon 3
2000-10-25 6.24 1,221 0 0 0 No The PS2 Will Have Unbridled Masturbatory Capabilities
2000-10-26 6.24 962 0 0 0 No I Cannot Be Held Responsible for My Human's Recent Hacker Attack on Your Server
2000-10-27 6.30 948 0 0 0 No Faster, Post-it Note! Kill! Kill!
2000-10-28 8.92 3,196 8 3 11 Yes Careful Career Maneuvering Will Allow Me to Continue Playing Asheron's Call All Day While the Paychecks Never Cease
2000-10-30 7.39 1,382 1 0 1 No The Zombies Cannot Possibly Kill Me When I'm This Wired on Jolt Cola
2000-10-31 5.36 1,068 0 0 0 No I Cannot Master the Torso Twist
2000-11-01 6.85 1,044 1 0 1 No Every Time Our Statistics Server Goes Down, I Will Cut off Someone's Ear
2000-11-02 6.69 1,000 1 0 1 No I Can Move Pikachu ... with My Mind!
2000-11-03 6.51 823 0 0 0 No Failure to Drink Your Milk Will Result in Enormous Tentacles Devouring Your Body Whole
2000-11-04 7.05 1,202 2 1 3 Yes I Totally Woulda Scored with That Chick on the Tribes Server If My Roommate Hadn't Logged on and Started Talking Smack about My Momma
2000-11-06 7.79 1,673 2 0 2 No Woe to Ye, Internet Service Provider!
2000-11-07 7.07 1,018 0 0 0 No Honey, I Love You, but Don't See Any Reason to Leave This Perfectly Good Elite Force Server.
2000-11-08 6.33 729 0 0 0 No The Playstation's So-called "Emotion" Engine Fails to Give Me Even a Hint of Human Compassion
2000-11-09 7.46 680 0 1 1 No The Dreamcast Is Sucking My Subconscious Mind
2000-11-10 6.76 1,084 0 0 0 No Seaman Is Damn Tasty!
2000-11-11 8.77 2,548 11 4 15 Yes Night-shift Tech Support Is an Abyss of Pure, Screaming Horror
2000-11-13 6.91 990 0 0 0 No This Crap Is Nothing like Fishing on My PC
2000-11-14 6.61 2,026 1 0 1 No Papa! Papa! They Took Away My AK !
2000-11-15 8.08 1,831 2 0 2 No My 14-Inch Monitor Is a Total Embarassment at LAN Parties
2000-11-16 5.60 1,200 0 0 0 No Very Shortly There Will Be a Down-throwing of Some Sort of Gauntlet-like Object
2000-11-17 7.92 1,510 2 0 2 No Hot Damn! the Ladies' Room Is Open Season!
2000-11-18 8.71 2,221 3 3 6 Yes Good Morning Small Children. I'm Here to Explain to You How the Internet Works.
2000-11-20 7.40 1,190 1 0 1 No It Was as Though the Hand of God Reached Down and Blessed Me Tonight at Palace Park Amusements
2000-11-21 6.57 2,089 4 0 4 No Psst, Would You like to Buy an Everquest Rubicite Breastplate? It Can Be Yours for the Low Low Price of a Single Human Baby.
2000-11-22 6.91 1,451 1 0 1 No The Remote Control Is under My Friend's Girlfriend's Ass
2000-11-23 8.48 1,570 0 6 6 Yes The Daily Victim Thanksgiving Special
2000-11-27 4.72 996 0 0 0 No Oh Man, This Tom Clancy Book Would Make a Crappy Computer Game
2000-11-28 5.96 1,121 0 0 0 No Critics Agree! My New Game Kicks Ass ... or I Will Kick Yours!
2000-11-29 8.34 1,510 1 0 1 No Your Stupid Asheron's Call Addiction Is Causing Me Sperm Retention Headaches
2000-11-30 5.07 1,178 1 0 1 No This New Game Can't Be Any Good -- It Smells All Coconutty
2000-12-01 7.64 1,496 1 0 1 No Tell Me about Your Day, Honey. I Promise Not to Fall Asleep This Time.
2000-12-02 7.70 1,495 1 2 3 Yes There's Nothing Wrong with Playing Tribes in 200 X 150 Resolution
2000-12-04 7.39 1,408 2 0 2 No The Middle of This End User License Agreement Contains a Freaky Paragraph in All Caps
2000-12-05 6.88 1,555 3 0 3 No I Am a Dance Dance Revolutionary
2000-12-06 7.49 1,738 0 0 0 No My Loss of Self-esteem Can Be Traced Back to the Loss of the Tfc Super Concussion Grenade Jump
2000-12-07 6.79 1,189 0 2 2 No I Can Sum up Your Internet Problems in Three Words My Friend: Girl Scout Modem.
2000-12-08 7.35 1,183 1 0 1 No Many Would Be Stunned or Horrified by the Sight of My "Tribes Hand," but I've Started to Grow Quite Fond of It
2000-12-09 7.22 981 2 2 4 Yes I'm Sorry, Professor, I Can't Attend Your Lectures This Week Due to My Madden 2001 Injury.
2000-12-11 7.34 1,199 0 0 0 No I'm Tellin' Ya, "Rat in a Coke Can" Is Gonna Be the Biggest Internet Phenomena since Deep-fried Chicken Head!
2000-12-12 8.19 1,534 2 0 2 No And Now, Crenshaw, Perhaps You'd like to Explain to Me Why My Favorite Mouse Is Covered in Potato Chip Grease?
2000-12-13 6.38 1,563 0 0 0 No I Swear to God I Am Not Responsible for When They Nerfed the Manastone!
2000-12-14 6.45 1,673 1 0 1 No I Am Right and You Are Wrong, as Evidenced by the Immense Combined Power of the Diablo Characters Listed in My Signature
2000-12-15 5.97 2,025 2 0 2 No Ever since That Last Counter-strike Patch, I Do Everything Akimbo
2000-12-16 7.89 1,414 2 3 5 Yes I Swear to God If You Start Talking about Your Two Handed +3 Cursed Berserking Sword at My Company Christmas Party, I Will Slam You
2000-12-18 8.08 1,366 4 0 4 No I Am the King of Office Ganking!
2000-12-19 8.51 1,721 1 4 5 No Fools! Get Out of Here! a Half-life CD Is on the Loose!
2000-12-20 7.39 1,192 0 2 2 No For God's Sake Get Down! If They See Us Running a Counter-strike Server Here We're Screwed!
2000-12-21 7.45 1,135 2 0 2 No You Call Yourself a Secret Santa!?
2000-12-22 7.52 1,383 3 2 5 No Hot Diggity! This New Matrix Action Figure Sitting on Top of My Monitor Will Affirm My Status as a Badass!
2000-12-23 9.13 3,493 2 10 12 Yes The Daily Victim Christmas Special
2000-12-27 6.39 1,248 0 0 0 No Instead of Helping Me with My Problem, the Dude from Tech Support Took a Screenshot So He Could Show It to All His Friends.
2000-12-28 9.04 4,278 7 0 7 No I Asked for the Quake 3 Expansion for Christmas, but All I Got Was a Stupid Puppy
2000-12-29 6.01 1,887 0 0 0 No Well, I Understand There's No Category for It, but You Have to Admit That This Pig Deserves Some Sort of Prize.
2000-12-30 7.17 1,217 1 3 4 Yes If That Puppy Whizzes in My Yard One More Time I'm Gonna Decapitate Him with a Half-life CD!
2001-01-02 5.25 1,072 0 0 0 No Courage. Honor. Dignity. Respect. These Are the Hallmarks of Clan TF Omega Ops.
2001-01-03 7.17 1,510 1 0 1 No I Recommend You Give Me Your Lunch Money before I Go Down, Down-forward, Forward, Punch.
2001-01-04 7.09 1,435 0 0 0 No I'm Sorry Guys -- *Sniff* -- I Don't Feel Good. I Think I'm Going to Go to School Today Instead of Playing Unreal Tournament.
2001-01-05 6.98 1,940 1 0 1 No Look, I Just Design Websites. I Won't Be Your Girlfriend.
2001-01-06 8.21 1,742 1 1 2 Yes I Have Several Theories as to How a Counter-strike Dedicated Server Managed to Find Its Way into Our Network Closet, Perhaps I Should Elaborate?
2001-01-08 6.77 1,086 0 1 1 No It Takes a Little Tweaking Sometimes, but My Internet Reception Has Gone Way up.
2001-01-09 6.63 1,221 0 0 0 No These Crappy Ice Cubes Melt before the Map Even Changes!
2001-01-10 7.56 1,592 3 0 3 No Mom, Dad, Lay off My Everquest Addiction or I May Be Forced to Move Out of Your Basement.
2001-01-11 7.95 1,346 1 0 1 No C'mon Honey, How Else Am I Supposed to Hear If Someone Is Sneaking into the Flag Room?
2001-01-12 5.70 1,459 2 0 2 No When It Comes to Online Gaming, I Find That the Mud Community Is the Best Place in Which to Mate with Animals.
2001-01-13 8.25 1,368 0 3 3 Yes 'Kay Dad, I Understand the New Puppy Chewed up Your Gel Mouse Wrist-rest, I'm Just Saying There May Be a Logical Explanation
2001-01-15 7.71 1,752 0 0 0 No File Too Long Loading File Bad Not Here Yet Nnrrggmmgkk
2001-01-16 6.80 1,438 0 0 0 No Hmmm... Susan? the People Downstairs Are Definitely Playing the Sims. Yeah ... Yeah I Think They Just Bought a Couch.
2001-01-17 7.11 1,381 0 0 0 No You Want a Piece of Me? You Want a Piece of Me!? I'm Available to Kick Your Ass Anywhere between 3:15 and 3:45 PM PST Today
2001-01-18 8.52 2,298 2 0 2 No California's Rolling Power Blackouts Have Reduced Me to Wholly Unsatisfying Forms of Manual Analog Entertainment
2001-01-19 7.00 1,512 0 0 0 No Impossible! How Could He Possibly Have Killed Me? My Bunny Hopping Was Flawless in Both Planning and Execution!
2001-01-20 8.16 1,736 1 1 2 Yes You Want to Talk Surround Sound? Why Stop at 5.1? I've Got an 8.6 Speaker System
2001-01-22 7.53 1,252 0 1 1 No And Bob, Next Door? Camper. S'true! I Saw It!
2001-01-23 7.25 1,226 0 0 0 No That "Tomb Invader" Woman Needs a Good Swift Caning!
2001-01-24 8.66 1,659 2 0 2 No You Understand, I Lost My Pants on a Worms Armageddon Bet. It Was Foolish, but I Had the Sheep, and Thought I Could Do No Wrong.
2001-01-25 7.96 1,387 1 1 2 No This Fancy-schmancy Office Chair Is a Killer of Men and Destroyer of Souls!
2001-01-26 8.17 1,955 4 0 4 No Hello, and Welcome to Gaming Gigabuys. Kill Me.
2001-01-27 7.99 1,132 0 3 3 No California Power Blackouts Continue. the Search for Non-digital Entertainment Grows Desperate.
2001-01-29 7.70 1,302 0 0 0 No There's a New Rules Marshall on This Here Baldur's Gate Server
2001-01-30 8.40 2,292 1 0 1 No Mock Ye the Arcane Arts of Unix Server Administration!?
2001-01-31 8.27 1,649 3 5 8 No I Don't Think the Job Interview Went Well
2001-02-01 7.22 1,471 1 1 2 No There's a Broadsword Embedded in the Entertainment Center? Quick, Hand It Back! I'm Fighting Claw Vipers!
2001-02-02 7.53 1,285 0 0 0 No You'll Have to Pardon Thomas. This Morning He Had to Dismantle and Reassemble His PC, and All He Had Was a Butter Knife.
2001-02-03 8.34 1,376 0 2 2 Yes There's a Perfectly Legitimate Business Reason I Stormed into the Quarterly Fiscal Review Half-naked and Reeking of Alcohol
2001-02-05 8.03 1,667 1 0 1 No I'm Not Naked in Real Life, but I Play a Naked Person on My PC.
2001-02-06 7.51 1,628 0 0 0 No I'm Not Going to Say You Were "0WNED" by My Baby Daughter, Exactly, but She Did Dominate You in a Decisive Manner.
2001-02-07 8.16 1,203 1 1 2 No What!? You're Turning the Mens' Room Back into a Ladies' Room Again? Good God Man, You Can't Let Them Back in There!
2001-02-08 6.70 2,228 1 0 1 No I Will Kick Your Scrawny Chess Ass
2001-02-09 6.53 1,546 2 0 2 No How Do I Win All My LAN Parties? I Credit the Sauce!
2001-02-10 9.11 5,204 10 7 17 Yes Woe, I Say, Woe upon Thee Who Trifle with the Devine Server Administrator!
2001-02-12 7.09 1,605 0 0 0 No I Can't for the Life of Me Figure Out *Slurp* the Reason My Keyboard Is So Sticky
2001-02-13 7.10 1,252 0 0 0 No If They Can Plop a Robot Probe on a Hunk of Rock a Million Miles Away from Earth, Why Can't They Invent a Fallout:tactics Demo That Downloads Faster?
2001-02-14 7.78 1,670 1 0 1 No No No, Pikapuppy, I Don't Choose You!
2001-02-15 9.08 3,723 3 0 3 No That Creep Crenshaw Always Turns the Air Conditioner on Just before Our 5:30 Deathmatch
2001-02-16 7.81 1,469 0 0 0 No C'moff It! That State Trooper Was Totally Camping the Intersection!
2001-02-17 8.33 1,268 0 2 2 Yes My Ingenious Plan to Win the Instagib Match by Re-routing the Air Conditioners Has Backfired
2001-02-19 6.32 1,345 2 0 2 No Hey! That Was My Foot! That Was My Fury!
2001-02-20 7.58 1,503 0 0 0 No Gronk Job -- Put PC Speakers into Cardboard Box.
2001-02-21 5.94 1,263 1 0 1 No This Is from My New Album: I'm Going to Rip Open Your Stomach and Devour the Partially Digested Contents
2001-02-22 8.47 1,315 1 0 1 No If Tribes 2 Is Delayed Again, I Will Rip My Own Face off
2001-02-23 7.85 1,348 0 0 0 No I Have a Dream.
2001-02-24 8.08 1,284 0 4 4 No Daily Victim: Kung Fu Theatre
2001-02-26 8.04 1,485 0 0 0 No My Resolution Is So High That I Can't See the Bomb in Counter-strike
2001-02-27 7.85 1,367 0 0 0 No I Find Myself Crippled with Paralyzing Fear Whenever I Try to Climb Down a Ladder in an FPS Game
2001-02-28 8.08 1,484 0 0 0 No Dad Says His New Dragonslayer +9 Is like the Son He Never Had
2001-03-01 8.40 1,892 2 0 2 No I Have Sewn the Seeds of Mass Hysteria on My Unreal Tournament Server!
2001-03-02 4.73 1,809 1 0 1 No Watch Me Now as I Sing along with the Deus Ex Theme!
2001-03-03 7.59 1,080 1 1 2 Yes Thank You for the Cards and Letters I Received regarding the Alien Popping Out of My Stomach
2001-03-05 7.27 1,273 0 0 0 No We Have to Cross Out 'Fun,' It Just Didn't Fit in with Our New Game's Business Model
2001-03-06 6.81 1,061 1 2 3 No AK, Jes, I See Fortunes from Za Gibs
2001-03-07 6.93 1,317 0 0 0 No Someone Moved the Little Plastic Indian That Was Standing on Top of My Monitor
2001-03-08 7.82 1,311 1 0 1 No Dude, Never Comment on Another Woman's Mags in Front of Your Wife
2001-03-09 7.88 1,630 1 0 1 No Yeeaahhh, This Uh, 'Chip' the Guy Sold You to Play Pirate Games on Your Playstation ... Is a Potato Chip.
2001-03-10 8.87 2,058 0 6 6 Yes Players Have Yet to Discover That I Intentionally Set up My Unreal Tournament Server to Kill Them All in Embarassing Ways!
2001-03-12 7.65 1,824 0 0 0 No I Have to Pee but I Can't Leave My PC Because I Really like the Next Map
2001-03-13 7.89 2,058 2 0 2 No No Photography Allowed into the Microsoft Gamestock Event? We'll See about That...
2001-03-15 8.21 1,523 1 0 1 No No -- No Way Man -- Keep That Metal Gear Solid 2 Demo Away from Me! I Have a Chemistry Exam Tomorrow!
2001-03-16 6.58 1,280 2 0 2 No Want to Know How I Scored 4 Million in One Round of Tony Hawk? Simple. I Waxed My Hands.
2001-03-17 8.12 1,385 0 1 1 Yes I Made the Mistake of Telling My Wife That I Think the Dungeon Siege Farmer Chick Is Hot.
2001-03-19 7.07 1,153 0 0 0 No I Had a Very Harrowing Atari Pitfall Experience as a Small Child.
2001-03-20 8.23 1,505 0 0 0 No Back off! I Have a Stapler!
2001-03-21 7.56 1,302 1 2 3 No Hasbro Has Filed an Injunction against My Punk Rock Band, 'the Frogger Gods.'
2001-03-22 7.09 1,396 0 0 0 No Reactions Were Mixed When I Came Back from Lunch and Started Biting Ankles
2001-03-23 8.16 1,476 1 0 1 No I Trained My Monkey to Squeal Whenever Someone Takes Our Flag
2001-03-24 7.68 1,440 0 1 1 Yes No, No -- Put That Metal Gear Solid 2 Demo Away! It'll Suck Your Soul!
2001-03-26 8.02 1,561 0 0 0 No Today Me and Mr. Stuffnfluf Will Show You How to Correctly Assault Counter-strike's Cs_militia Map
2001-03-27 7.87 1,547 0 0 0 No How Could All Twelve of You Guys Buy Me the Exact Same Game for My Birthday? Don't You Ever Talk?
2001-03-28 8.54 2,087 1 0 1 No Hi. I'm Mike. I'm a Saveaholic.
2001-03-29 8.54 2,614 1 0 1 No No Cringer, You Sniveling Whore, You're Supposed to Eat the Villagers!
2001-03-30 7.17 2,237 0 0 0 No Why Doesn't This Warez Server Have Any Decent Customer Support!?
2001-03-31 8.31 1,771 1 3 4 Yes I Spent Weeks Training My Monkey to Be the First to Grab Tribes 2 at the Store, but Things Went Oh So Very Wrong
2001-04-02 7.02 1,534 0 0 0 No My Greatest Website Hack of All Time, and Everyone Thought It Was an April Fools Joke
2001-04-03 7.40 1,419 1 1 2 No With My New Geforce 3 I Can Run Seti@home Even While Playing Sacrifice
2001-04-04 5.55 1,625 0 0 0 No 'While Mr.scales Remains Undefeated in C&C Tournament Play, I'm Afraid He Remains Unavailable for Comment.'
2001-04-05 8.35 1,860 1 0 1 No Kids, You See Mr. Happy Snake? You Leave Mr. Happy Snake inside the Wall or Daddy Gets Very Angry!
2001-04-06 7.41 1,706 0 0 0 No Dude, You Really Can't Complain about Player-killing When You Join a Diablo 2 Server Named 'Kill Kill PVP Mad Duelz I Will Own J00'
2001-04-07 8.03 1,872 2 1 3 Yes Games That Have Only Limited Supplies of Ammo, but Let Me Quicksave, Might as Well Just Give Me Unlimited Ammo.
2001-04-09 7.52 1,428 0 0 0 No Friend, Consider These Money-saving Tips
2001-04-10 7.56 1,581 1 0 1 No I Simply Refuse to Play Any Game That Cannot Correctly Calculate the Muzzle Velocity of a German Panzer IV's 75MM Main Gun.
2001-04-11 7.94 1,509 0 1 1 No Are You a Wargamer or Some Kind of Communist!?
2001-04-12 8.34 1,409 2 1 3 No Failure to Blink During an Intense Game of Tribes 2 Has Hardened My Contact Lenses beyond Repair
2001-04-13 8.81 1,857 1 7 8 Yes The Daily Victim Easter Special
2001-04-17 7.83 1,563 0 0 0 No Damn My Fat, Fat Fingers!
2001-04-18 7.26 1,381 0 0 0 No Having Played Crazy Taxi for Six Straight Hours I Cannot Control the Urge to Drive Dangerously Fast to the Nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken
2001-04-19 8.65 2,617 2 0 2 No Mr. Henderson, I Take Issue with Your Most Recent Thesis, Entitled 'C1V1L W4R: 4 7URN1NG P01N7 1N 4M3R1C4N H1S70RY'
2001-04-20 7.04 1,405 1 1 2 No I'm All Good with Us Buying Out Another Company, but I Take Issue with the Amount of Salmon Jerky We Acquired as Part of the Deal.
2001-04-21 7.97 2,049 0 1 1 Yes Kids, I Think It's Very Important You Understand That Daddy's Network Cable Is Not to Be Used to Pull Your Razer Scooter Out of a Mud Puddle.
2001-04-23 7.99 2,614 0 0 0 No My Girlfriend Manifests Her Dissatisfaction with Our Relationship by Placing Me in an Enormous Mound of Poop.
2001-04-24 7.57 2,891 0 0 0 No In Retrospect It Was a Bad Idea to Mercillesly Taunt That Asheron's Call Admin
2001-04-25 6.60 1,432 0 0 0 No Good Hygiene Is Important When You and Your Roommate Share PC Microphones
2001-04-26 6.85 1,552 1 0 1 No Sherry and I Bought a PS2 Together. That's a Pretty Serious Step!
2001-04-27 8.79 1,899 3 2 5 No These Freakish Puzzle Games Bring Me No Delight Whatsoever!
2001-04-28 8.76 2,765 0 1 1 Yes Mr. Jacobson, You Need to Spend More Time Researching Your Papers and Less Time Playing Tribes 2. Furthermore, You Have No Jetpack Skillz.
2001-04-30 7.88 1,433 0 0 0 No Please! Wear Headphones When You Play Tribes 2 -- You're Ruining Godfather Night!
2001-05-01 7.41 1,449 0 0 0 No You Kids Wouldn't Happen to Know Why Our Swimming Pool Is Empty and Covered with Skate-board Marks, Would You?
2001-05-02 7.36 1,538 1 0 1 No Excuse Me, Sir, You Failed to Signal before Crashing That Bomber into a Mountain.
2001-05-03 8.24 2,233 2 0 2 No I Put the 'Ow' in 'Low Ping'
2001-05-04 6.60 1,590 0 0 0 No Wow, a Whole Quarter. What Shall I Spend It on? a Driving Game, a Fighting Game, or a Light Gun Game?
2001-05-05 8.49 1,880 0 1 1 Yes Gamers like Myself Are Often Inconsiderate of Our Friends' Feelings, Particularly When We Destroy Them.
2001-05-07 5.35 1,754 0 0 0 No Getting Those Tiny CD Headphones Lodged in My Ear Wasn't the Worst Part of My Day...
2001-05-08 9.16 8,236 3 2 5 No As an Arcade Attendant of Five Years, I Can Say with Certainty That Creeping Horror Is Not a Usual Fixture of Palace Park Amusements.
2001-05-09 7.35 1,818 0 0 0 No Stop Destroying My Base! Only the Innocents Remain!
2001-05-10 8.35 1,654 0 3 3 No My New CPU Fan Makes Noises That Only Dogs Can Hear
2001-05-11 7.55 1,346 0 1 1 No Notes on the Proper Use of Homing Pigeons for Counter-strike Combat
2001-05-12 9.09 3,822 1 3 4 Yes My Ping Is Tingling! Trouble Is Afoot!
2001-05-14 8.58 2,135 1 1 2 No It Is Dangerous to Bathe During an Everquest Game
2001-05-15 7.35 1,615 0 0 0 No I Finally Solved Goonies 2 for the NES!
2001-05-16 6.91 1,092 0 1 1 No His Preparation for the Upcoming Tournament Involves a Solid Hour of Meat Beat Manifesto.
2001-05-17 7.83 1,726 0 0 0 No Quick Naps in between Map-changes and Respawns Enable the Skilled Gamer to Play CTF for 48 Straight Hours
2001-05-18 5.84 1,218 0 0 0 No I Am Tired of the Media Portraying Those of Us Who Dress Freakish and Wierd as Freaks and Weirdos.
2001-05-19 7.63 1,968 2 1 3 Yes My Secret N1NJ4 Mission to E3 Was a Dismal Failure
2001-05-21 7.79 1,664 1 0 1 No Seriously, Some Kid's Head Actually Popped When He Saw Star Wars Galaxies.
2001-05-22 7.98 1,246 0 0 0 No I Am Trapped in the Ass End of a Hellish Excuse for a Gaming Convention
2001-05-23 8.42 1,656 1 1 2 No This Whole E3 Gaming Convention Is a Hostile Environment for Gruff the Learning Dog.
2001-05-24 8.02 1,529 1 1 2 No What Salon.com Fails to Realize Is That I Dressed like a Pimp Long before I Became a Game Developer
2001-05-25 8.59 2,284 1 0 1 No I Refused to Allow My Broken Arm to Hinder My Deathmatch Skillz
2001-05-26 8.45 1,944 1 2 3 Yes This Weekend's Tribute to the Armed Forces Will Take Place in My Bathtub.
2001-05-29 8.13 1,640 2 0 2 No Give Charlie a Chance to Cool Down -- for the Last Six Weeks He's Had a Hootie and the Blowfish CD Jammed in His Dreamcast
2001-05-30 7.88 1,817 0 0 0 No To Get My Husband off of the Computer, I Had to Fake Not Having a Headache
2001-05-31 6.19 1,252 1 0 1 No Gentlemen, This New 'X-treme' Game Concept Will Leave You Piddling Your Boxers with Joy.
2001-06-01 5.71 1,272 0 1 1 No Forget Everything You've Heard, I Have the X-treme Game of the Future
2001-06-03 8.86 1,894 0 1 1 Yes My Arch Gaming Nemisis Was in a Body Cast, Yet He Still Talked Smack
2001-06-04 6.59 1,290 0 1 1 No Sherry's Magnetic Poetry Is Becoming Increasingly Violent towards Our PS2
2001-06-05 7.56 1,528 1 0 1 No My Neverwinter Nights Server Is Just Going to Be a Place for Characters to Get Drunk and Party
2001-06-06 8.58 1,826 1 0 1 No Oh Man. Today a High School Kid Is Going to Shadow Me for 'Career Day,' So I Have to Pretend to Work
2001-06-07 8.30 1,627 0 0 0 No These Coin-operated Web Servers Were a Bad Idea
2001-06-08 8.08 1,908 1 0 1 No Jim Always Plays the Wermacht in WWII Games
2001-06-09 7.89 1,505 0 1 1 Yes We Had an Incredibly Sordid Experience Removing the Hootie and the Blowfish CD from Charlie's Dreamcast
2001-06-11 7.79 1,589 0 0 0 No Sorry Guys, I Can't Play in Our Tribes Match Tonight. I'm Temporarily Unable to Use the Mouse and Keyboard at the Same Time.
2001-06-12 7.38 1,367 0 1 1 No Well Guys, after All Four of Us Bought Gameboy Advance, We've No Money Left for Food and Nothing to Eat but a Solid Brick of Velveeta Cheese.
2001-06-13 7.32 1,471 1 0 1 No Welcome to Tony Scirocco's Online Macdown
2001-06-14 8.40 2,735 1 0 1 No I Would Never Date a Man Who Builds a Havoc Heavy Transport and Then Takes off with Two Empty Seats
2001-06-15 8.13 2,483 2 0 2 No An Extremely Talented Individual -- like Myself -- Can Eat an Entire Hot Dog During the Loading Screen of an SSX Map
2001-06-18 7.02 1,281 0 0 0 No It's a Damn Shame What They Did to That Fourth Pac-man Ghost
2001-06-19 6.80 1,620 0 0 0 No Nothing Says Whacky Online Fun like a Flashbang in the Face of a Teammate! Ho Ho Ho!
2001-06-20 8.21 1,859 0 0 0 No I Pre-ordered an X-BOX, and That's When the Bad Things Happened.
2001-06-21 6.37 1,521 1 0 1 No I Have Seen All Three Screenshots for This New Game That Was Just Announced and Lemme Tell You How Bad It's Going to Suck.
2001-06-22 8.59 1,768 1 0 1 No The Best Birthday Present I Ever Got? a Roll of Quarters.
2001-06-23 8.19 2,517 0 2 2 Yes My Ex-boyfriend Plays for the Other Team
2001-06-25 7.67 1,700 0 0 0 No I Wish They'd Stop Coming Out with Genre-busting Video Games -- It's Ruining My Whole Filing Scheme.
2001-06-26 6.42 1,220 2 0 2 No The Secret to 4X4 Evolution, My Son, Is to Become One with the Road.
2001-06-27 7.04 1,486 1 0 1 No Silence! Game Designer Derek Smart'S Name Must Only Be Spoken in Hushed Tones
2001-06-28 6.95 1,431 0 0 0 No My Father Came Back from the Grave with an Important Announcement
2001-06-29 7.95 1,423 0 0 0 No Sure, Sure Yeh, My Wife's a Better Sniper than Me. but I'm Still the Flag-runner of This Household.
2001-06-30 8.63 1,794 1 3 4 Yes My Adoration of the Atari 2600 Knew No Limits ... until Yesterday.
2001-07-02 7.28 1,400 0 0 0 No Please, Distract My Fiance While I Sneak a PS2 onto Our Wedding Gift Registry
2001-07-03 8.68 1,534 1 0 1 No I'm Addicted to Teamfortress Hallucinogen Grenades
2001-07-04 6.50 1,355 0 0 0 No This Game You Bought Me Isn't SSX. and You're Not My Real Mom.
2001-07-05 7.22 1,303 1 0 1 No Stella, No! You Push Down to Crouch, Then Press High-punch to Uppercut!
2001-07-06 6.23 1,453 0 1 1 No My Approach to Playing Light Gun Games Is One-part Tj Hooker, One Part MTV's Jackass
2001-07-07 8.42 1,340 0 8 8 Yes Many Games Undergoing Beta-testing Fail to Acknowledge the Valuable Wisdom Hardcore Gamers Can Give
2001-07-09 8.02 1,652 1 0 1 No Whenever I Talk with Max, It Feels like One of Us Is Lagging
2001-07-10 5.79 1,696 0 0 0 No My Parents Opted for a 'Poor Man's' Net-nanny System
2001-07-11 8.75 1,976 1 0 1 No Your Keen Skills at Setting up Base Defenses Are No Match for My Ability to Crash a Vehicle into Them
2001-07-12 6.48 1,314 0 0 0 No Boxes That Make Noise and React to Me When I Push Buttons -- That's All I Need to Be Happy.
2001-07-13 8.33 1,599 0 0 0 No My Tribes Game Was Destroyed by an Errant Car Alarm
2001-07-14 8.23 1,274 0 1 1 Yes My Clan Forced Me into the Grenade Clinic
2001-07-16 8.02 1,484 0 0 0 No How Can I Possibly Use the Keyboard to Play Games When the Cartoonist Only Gives Me Four Fingers?
2001-07-17 8.37 1,713 2 0 2 No Son, It's Time We Talked about the Bases and the Bees...
2001-07-18 7.51 1,398 0 0 0 No National Security Reasons Demand That These 'Punkbuster' Workarounds Do Not Fall into Enemy Hands
2001-07-19 6.77 1,242 0 0 0 No Look, Your Software Store Stopped Carrying Codename Eagle. We Decided to Take Drastic Measures.
2001-07-20 5.60 1,539 0 0 0 No You Haven't Really Entered the Game Development Community until You Own a Pair of Battery-operated Pants
2001-07-22 9.08 3,204 0 1 1 Yes My Reign as the Most Effective Tribes 2 Suicide Pilot Was Traumatically Cut Short When I Lived for over Five Consecutive Minutes
2001-07-23 6.83 988 5 2 7 No If My Missing PS2 Memory Card Does Not Resurface, I'm Going to Order a Full-on Pants Drop
2001-07-24 7.80 935 5 3 8 No I Will Win ... the Beetle Cup
2001-07-25 7.88 890 2 3 5 No Your Skill at 'Racing' Pales in Comparison to My Targeted High-speed Demolition Tactics
2001-07-26 6.88 926 3 1 4 No Are You Kidding Me? This Drives Nothing like My Dodge Viper
2001-07-27 7.94 811 1 4 5 No I Ask That, before You Use My 1000-Watt Simulated Racing Seat, You Please Use the Potty.
2001-07-28 9.07 2,341 0 6 6 Yes I Had Nothing to Do with the Hellish Fury That Followed the Gran Turismo 3 Tournament
2001-07-30 7.41 1,287 0 0 0 No 'Enjoy' My Vacation? Lemme Tell You Something about Cruise Ships: No Cable Modems
2001-07-31 6.57 1,223 0 0 0 No My Winning Counter-strike Strategy: a Two-pronged Attack of Both Tai-chi and Mouse Sensitivity
2001-08-01 7.08 1,318 0 1 1 No Dad Plugged in the Hairdryer Two Hours into the Daytona 500 and Blew My Whole PC
2001-08-02 7.19 1,592 0 0 0 No From Hell's Heart I Stab at Thee, for Hate's Sake I Spit My Last Dodgeball at Thee
2001-08-03 7.61 1,331 1 0 1 No It's Your Turn to Clean the Fridge, and Might I Remind You You're One Snip Away from Complete Dsl Blackout!
2001-08-04 7.67 1,492 0 1 1 Yes Son, Adults Learn to Share the Havoc Heavy Transport
2001-08-06 6.31 1,237 1 0 1 No Tell Ma I Done Gone to Austin to Be a Rich and Famous Game Developer
2001-08-07 4.84 1,538 0 0 0 No Just One Nibble and Them Hedgehogs Will Know the Meaning of 'Pain.'
2001-08-08 6.98 1,469 0 0 0 No Fine, Date My Little Sister. Just Don't Expect Me to Defuse the Bomb for You Anymore!
2001-08-09 6.91 1,337 0 0 0 No Dude, You Just Optomize This Yo-yo and You'd Get Twice the Rebound and 40% Better Spin
2001-08-10 8.16 1,799 2 0 2 No I Remind You That I and I Alone Have the Power
2001-08-11 8.08 2,247 1 1 2 Yes Egah! What Have I Done?
2001-08-13 5.10 875 0 0 0 No Gads! Will Ye Robber Barons Ever Layoff of Mine Union Pacific Railroad?
2001-08-14 7.12 1,506 0 0 0 No Your Game Needs More Near-nudity
2001-08-15 8.36 1,610 0 2 2 No His Identity Remains a Mystery, but the Legend Has Only Begun
2001-08-16 9.43 15,916 2 0 2 No Our New Office Passtime Is Messin' with the Guy Who Plays Majestic
2001-08-17 5.30 2,018 0 0 0 No Look Out! He's Using the Big Mouse!
2001-08-18 9.03 2,766 2 5 7 Yes Those Fewls Insist I Abandon the Glove and the Dark Feedback-forcing Arts It Embodies
2001-08-20 8.12 2,261 1 0 1 No I Solicited Spam Mail to Stop the Lonliness
2001-08-21 6.85 1,362 0 0 0 No One Game of Nine-ball Is All It Takes for Me to Reduce a Human Being to a Shrieking Mass of Infantile Garbage
2001-08-22 7.62 1,784 0 1 1 No You Only Love Me Because of My Unreal Tournament Skills! and Because I Have a Great Body.
2001-08-23 6.21 1,022 0 1 1 No I Was Victimized by My Star Wars Galaxies Player Association
2001-08-24 6.33 1,208 0 0 0 No I Killed for the Motor City Online Beta
2001-08-25 9.16 5,528 0 1 1 No Messing with People Who Play Majestic Is Probably a Really Bad Idea
2001-08-27 6.11 1,420 3 1 4 No Want to Trade Your Fungus Covered Scale Tunic? I Can Offer You a Human Baby in Return.
2001-08-28 7.61 1,540 1 1 2 No The End User License Agreement Provided No Protection for My Ovaries
2001-08-29 6.20 1,227 0 0 0 No Ahhh, the Forces of Terror Are Again at Bay. at Least until the Next Round Starts.
2001-08-30 8.25 2,294 1 0 1 No Thanks to Unreal Tournament, I Was Kicked Out of the S.A.T. Exams
2001-08-31 7.23 1,144 0 0 0 No I Found a New Game Setup That Helps Compensate for My Attention Deficit Disorder
2001-09-01 7.87 1,532 0 1 1 Yes Spam Mail Is the Only Fulfilling Thing in My Life
2001-09-03 7.43 1,410 0 0 0 No Crack Soldier of Fortune, Reporting for Duty Sir!
2001-09-04 6.83 1,267 0 0 0 No This Indiana Jones Pinball Game Ate My Balls!
2001-09-05 6.63 1,696 0 0 0 No Explain to Me Again Why Inverting Your Mouselook Is a Good Thing?
2001-09-06 5.37 1,335 0 0 0 No If You Guys Had Just Talked to Me before You Released Arcanum...
2001-09-07 9.11 2,765 0 1 1 No Despite All Efforts My Pet Cow Has Completed a Long Slow Harrowing Descent into Depravity
2001-09-08 8.27 2,307 0 1 1 Yes Unreal Tournament Got Me into College
2001-09-10 7.42 1,136 0 1 1 No The Tireless Work of Men like Me Keeps Atari's 'E.T.' from Falling into the Wrong Hands
2001-09-11 6.27 1,623 0 1 1 No First My Gut! Will My Tribes Skillz Be Next?
2001-09-14 5.27 1,161 3 0 3 No The Search for a New Daily Victim Artist Begins
2001-09-17 6.34 816 0 1 1 No The Search Continues
2001-09-19 5.54 989 0 1 1 No A New Daily Victim Artist Is on the Horizon ... Sadly, Not Here.
2001-09-25 5.28 2,300 1 0 1 No Find an Artist? Hell, I Need to Find a Lawyer!
2002-01-16 6.47 655 0 2 2 No If They Bring Back the Daily Victim, I Promise -- I'll Wax More than My Hands
2002-02-12 7.61 444 0 21 21 No The Daily Victim Returns March 1, 2002!
2002-03-01 6.16 2,266 4 0 4 No The World Conspires to Keep 'State of Emergency' Out of My Innocent, Childlike Hands
2002-03-02 7.62 2,038 0 0 0 Yes The Secret to My Artistic Success Lies Not from Being the Man, but in Pretending That I'm Being the Man
2002-03-04 6.96 1,764 3 1 4 No This Weekend My Friend Kip Taught Me All about Starting Mall Riots
2002-03-05 7.60 2,805 3 0 3 No In Hindsight, Camping outside the Software Store in Anticipation of Teamfortress 2 Was Probably a Bad Idea.
2002-03-06 6.73 1,499 1 2 3 No Son, You're Not Thinking of Fighting the Powah, Are You?
2002-03-07 8.26 2,189 2 0 2 No Not Even God Himself Can Defeat My Empire Earth Scenario!
2002-03-08 7.32 1,217 1 3 4 No I'm the Last Line of Defense between America's Youth and the Destabilizing Influence of Such Subversive Games as WWF Raw
2002-03-09 8.71 1,835 4 6 10 Yes You Got to Fight for Your Right to Play 'M' Rated Games! Testify!
2002-03-11 6.69 2,429 0 0 0 No Baby, I Put the ‘Romance’ in ‘Necromancer’
2002-03-12 8.49 2,629 1 0 1 No Sir, I Really Think It's a Bad Idea to Call Our New 3D Card 'the Geforce 5 Mi-A55'
2002-03-13 6.99 1,651 1 0 1 No Are you kidding me? The cartoon kitty could totally kick Clippy the Paperclip's ass
2002-03-14 7.19 2,199 1 0 1 No She wants to solve Diablo II together? Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?
2002-03-15 8.26 1,347 0 2 2 No God bless America! In the land of opportunity, scooter-entrepreneurs like myself can score an easy Xbox.
2002-03-16 7.59 1,804 1 1 2 Yes My NEW Empire Earth scenario is more than unbeatable ... it's divinely inspired
2002-03-18 5.72 1,287 0 0 0 No It is man’s ultimate ambition to achieve perfect balance in life, in love, and in Tony Hawk
2002-03-19 8.53 1,905 2 0 2 No Removal of this PS2 controller will require a licensed OBGYN
2002-03-20 7.68 1,503 0 0 0 No Deciphering the damn Jedi Starfighter backstory is like reading the A&E channel
2002-03-21 5.67 1,067 0 0 0 No You're just not playing Xbox football unless they're bringing out the chains
2002-03-22 7.01 1,460 0 0 0 No The secret to good game design is nothing less than soft, sensual, knee-length hair
2002-03-23 8.03 1,603 0 1 1 Yes When you think of high end graphics, I want you to think about Mi-A55.
2002-03-25 8.08 2,349 1 0 1 No Wooo-hooo! You were my one-millionth player kill!
2002-03-26 6.96 1,683 0 0 0 No Stop! Don’t move an inch! My Super Mario Advance cartridge is lost somewhere in the shag carpet.
2002-03-27 7.18 1,757 0 0 0 No I’m gonna whomp you so hard, they might as well cue the sad French horns.
2002-03-28 7.53 1,882 0 0 0 No I lost 30 gigs of pr0n in that last blackout
2002-03-29 8.30 1,446 2 1 3 No You haven’t really played Virtua Fighter 4 until you’ve busted out the Shaolin style with a fishing controller.
2002-03-30 8.46 1,963 1 2 3 Yes Great care must be taken when removing a PS2 controller from one’s privates
2002-04-01 7.02 1,540 0 0 0 No This base has been in my family for years
2002-04-02 9.21 7,144 3 1 4 No When I forgot my access card this morning, I was forced to go Metal Gear Solid freestyle at the office
2002-04-03 7.70 2,200 1 1 2 No My girlfriend is what you would call a ... "Freedom Forcer."
2002-04-04 8.35 2,704 1 2 3 No I bought an EverQuest Level 43 Barbarian Shaman off of a disreputable auction site ... but at what cost?
2002-04-05 5.85 1,580 0 1 1 No Will these PaRappa chains make me look cool? I gotta believe!
2002-04-06 8.53 2,300 3 2 5 Yes It's amazing the depths of depravity you can explore with a humble PS2 fishing controller
2002-04-08 7.52 1,916 0 0 0 No Thanks to a catastrophic miscalculation regarding daylight savings time, our 60-minute clan match lasted approximately 13.6 seconds.
2002-04-09 8.59 2,280 0 0 0 No Shut up you guys. If there was a "band camp" video game, I'd OWN.
2002-04-10 6.86 1,671 0 0 0 No Gary Gygax appeared to me in a dream last night ... wearing studded leather pants!
2002-04-11 7.96 1,691 0 0 0 No Here on MY server, I like to focus on attractive Dungeon Siege gardening
2002-04-12 8.84 2,493 1 0 1 No A grievous typo on our prom leaflets invited the seniors to 'Bring a Date to the 2002 Pr0n'
2002-04-13 9.08 2,949 0 1 1 Yes There comes a time in every man’s life when he asks himself: What would Solid Snake do?
2002-04-15 6.14 2,022 0 0 0 No Global Operations’ Intel character class allows me to fulfill at long last my natural inclination to command
2002-04-16 5.09 1,800 0 0 0 No It looks like playing Agent Under Fire will have to wait until after "Walkies."
2002-04-17 7.53 1,798 0 0 0 No In regards to the last Krispy Kreme doughnut:
2002-04-18 7.68 1,654 1 0 1 No AN AUDIT!? I knew I shouldn't have let those guys on the forums do my taxes!
2002-04-19 8.02 1,913 1 1 2 No These new smaller PC boxes are great, I can sneak ‘em in the house without my wife seeing
2002-04-20 6.68 1,762 0 1 1 Yes It’s horrifying times like these that a man has to ask himself: What would The Rock do?
2002-04-22 6.21 1,404 0 0 0 No What I need is one of those "kick 'em in the jimmies" lawyers
2002-04-23 6.91 1,752 0 1 1 No You will never defeat my optimal Age of Empires development path!
2002-04-24 7.48 1,651 0 0 0 No Eyah! Stop it! If you keep playing that Spider-Man game you'll ruin the movie!
2002-04-25 6.97 1,798 0 0 0 No Those of us with foresight ensure that our post-apocalyptic survival bunkers are equipped with FilePlanet accounts.
2002-04-26 7.66 1,734 1 0 1 No A word of caution regarding PC cooling fans and chinchillas:
2002-04-27 8.69 2,327 0 1 1 Yes It’s easy to sneak these new, smaller PC game boxes into the house. But that’s not always a good thing.
2002-04-29 5.90 2,196 0 0 0 No I like to both cut AND paste.
2002-04-30 8.22 2,182 0 0 0 No My PC speaker began emitting noises almost wholly unlike "music."
2002-05-01 9.13 5,715 4 0 4 No As a former SysAdmin, I always have a backup plan.
2002-05-02 5.94 1,889 0 0 0 No How do I decide what to buy? The real turning point for me is how quickly a game comes out with a Boba Fett mod.
2002-05-03 7.33 2,075 0 0 0 No Monitor radiation cured my cancer!
2002-05-04 7.78 1,990 0 1 1 Yes Further studies have confirmed that Chinchillas and PC gaming just don't mix.
2002-05-06 6.83 1,560 0 0 0 No Just because you CAN play the Mario theme song with your armpits, doesn't mean you NEED to.
2002-05-07 7.73 1,983 0 0 0 No Mr. Pickles has issues with my new optical mouse.
2002-05-08 7.74 1,709 0 0 0 No Extra extra! Read about it here! 5 slain in briefcase-camping incident!
2002-05-09 8.65 1,742 2 1 3 No The delicious, sizzling scent of barbecue is disrupting my game of Morrowind
2002-05-10 7.36 1,915 1 0 1 No It's sad but true that a hamster's squeaky wheel can drive a gamer to the brink of insanity
2002-05-11 9.35 8,173 6 7 13 Yes Simultaneously attending an EverQuest wedding and a job interview is not a trivial exercise. Fortunately, I always have a backup plan.
2002-05-13 5.17 1,828 0 0 0 No I can end troublesome lens flares Forever!
2002-05-14 7.72 1,868 1 0 1 No I disagree. A broadsword to the head wouldn't hurt if you were wearing good armor.
2002-05-15 7.91 2,306 0 0 0 No Step aside! This Star Wars line is getting out of hand.
2002-05-16 8.07 1,758 0 0 0 No My new boss is a micromanaging narcoleptic
2002-05-17 6.94 1,658 1 2 3 No Professor Lyons of MIT explains how to get Morrowind to work with your 3D card
2002-05-18 8.60 1,976 0 1 1 Yes Morrowind has taught me a valuable life's lesson: How to steal everything that isn't nailed down
2002-05-20 6.55 2,363 0 0 0 No Hear me out -- Our Asheron's Call monarchy would be considerably more powerful with its own clone army.
2002-05-21 7.39 2,268 1 0 1 No Attention Citizens of Morrowind: I Wish to Make Public My Request that You ‘Bring It.’
2002-05-22 6.66 2,173 0 0 0 No This Nintendo Booth Was Built Atop the Carpeted Remains of Your Forefathers
2002-05-23 8.75 2,896 1 0 1 No My uncanny resemblance to gaming superstar Shigeru Miyamoto encouraged my friends to hatch a nefarious scheme
2002-05-24 8.74 3,194 1 1 2 No This fake Mario costume changed what should've been the happiest day of my life into a howling nightmare of sweat and foam
2002-05-25 8.43 2,944 0 1 1 Yes This whole E3 convention business is like hitting the swag mother lode
2002-05-28 5.74 2,121 0 0 0 No Okay, you run forward, I'll punch the goalie
2002-05-29 8.18 2,494 4 0 4 No My girlfriend kicks my ass at Super Smash Brothers Melee ... using the Princess
2002-05-30 7.28 2,454 2 1 3 No There are two ways to play Super Smash Brothers, my young padawan. There's a light side. And a dark side.
2002-05-31 8.47 2,507 2 2 4 No A woman can't let true love stand in the way of mad skillz.
2002-06-01 8.33 2,907 1 3 4 No Occasionally a man has to throw down for the woman he loves
2002-06-04 6.78 2,749 0 0 0 No Don't kick me off of your game service -- my mom was out of control on here last night
2002-06-05 5.93 2,453 1 0 1 No When Star Wars Galaxies comes out, y'all know where I'm gonna be.
2002-06-06 6.55 2,158 0 0 0 No Top ten things I will do for your Neverwinter Nights beta CD...
2002-06-07 8.45 2,321 1 0 1 No The kid wouldn't step away from the Zero Gunner machine; what's a guy to do?
2002-06-08 8.34 2,845 0 3 3 Yes My Super Smash Bros. skillz have led me on an odyssey to the lowest depths of humanity
2002-06-11 8.94 2,762 1 1 2 No There were disastrous consequences to installing a backlight to my Game Boy Advance
2002-06-12 7.17 2,241 1 0 1 No To fully unlock the mysteries of the Harry Potter DVD, we had to call in Percy
2002-06-13 7.52 3,009 0 0 0 No I swear I saw some Blizzard Programmers eating lunch at El Pollo Loco yesterday
2002-06-14 6.83 2,293 0 0 0 No No way man, she's hot for me! Just LOOK at the emoticons she's using!
2002-06-15 7.68 2,400 0 1 1 Yes I just had the best and worst arcade experience of my life
2002-06-17 6.83 1,851 0 0 0 No Say what? I can't hear you over the miserable howling Jigglypuff cacophony!
2002-06-18 6.75 1,451 0 0 0 No Pilgrimage, we must make, to the world's largest Yoda
2002-06-19 5.94 1,748 0 0 0 No Your new GameSpy design with its giant Jango Fett frightens me
2002-06-20 8.26 2,024 0 0 0 No Note to staff: Please refrain from screaming "FRAWRESS VICTORRRY" whenever important Japanese clients are visting
2002-06-21 8.30 1,927 1 0 1 No The Army has a videogame? Big deal, the 'CIA Black Ops' game has been out for years. In secret.
2002-06-22 8.89 2,387 0 3 3 Yes I was irradiated by a failed Game Boy backlight installation
2002-06-25 8.23 2,026 0 0 0 No We got no choice but to send in Earls. He's the best camper this army's got.
2002-06-26 7.68 1,583 0 0 0 No Val-U-Ware's Virtual Bowler 3D did little to prepare me for the actual bowling experience
2002-06-27 7.97 1,750 1 0 1 No Pirates hacked my webserver ... but they filled it full of Warez!
2002-06-28 8.51 2,455 1 0 1 No I can totally wig out my neighbor's WaveBird with this old cellular phone
2002-06-29 7.88 1,313 0 1 1 Yes An important message from your neighborhood secret operative
2002-07-01 8.36 2,143 2 0 2 No Reporting to you LIVE from the observation mode of Bl00dLu5t's Tribes II server...
2002-07-02 7.31 1,681 0 1 1 No Professor Lyons of MIT explains how Neverwinter scripting works
2002-07-03 6.45 2,642 1 0 1 No Nothing but me, Maxim magazine, and the Neverwinter Nights ad... A night for ROMANCE.
2002-07-04 8.14 1,961 0 0 0 No Whoa, guys, make sure you're not on any fault lines when you light that thing off...
2002-07-06 9.03 2,010 0 1 1 Yes I've only scratched the surface of the power this old cell phone gives me over WaveBird controllers
2002-07-08 7.97 2,025 0 0 0 No Hello, sir! Allow me to demonstrate for you a stunning new way to roleplay without a PC!
2002-07-09 8.06 2,202 0 1 1 No FWWwoooAAAHH! You can get a wicked buzz just by licking the Warcraft III box!
2002-07-10 7.44 1,672 0 0 0 No I probably blew my Nintendo Street Team audition when I threatened to knee-drop Luigi in the balls
2002-07-11 7.45 1,871 0 0 0 No I can't bear to watch you mod that GameCube
2002-07-12 8.41 2,921 0 0 0 No The Littlest Orc: A Bedtime Story
2002-07-13 8.49 1,818 0 1 1 Yes We now return LIVE to the observation mode of Bl00dlu5t's Tribes II server where an amazing feat is soon to transpire
2002-07-15 7.86 2,829 0 0 0 No Listen, mister! This here adventuring party doesn't stoop to "Chaotic" Evil, and we're not about to start.
2002-07-16 7.45 1,562 0 0 0 No After being ordained over the Internet, I feel qualified to conduct an online wedding
2002-07-17 6.93 1,902 0 0 0 No I feel for the peons
2002-07-18 9.01 2,714 1 0 1 No I've blown $240 this past month because the girl on the game tips hotline is hot
2002-07-19 8.08 1,583 6 1 7 No I have a plan for a Neverwinter scenario so incredible it'll melt the skin off of your body!
2002-07-20 8.39 1,379 3 3 6 Yes Our mind-blowing Neverwinter scenario will require days of focused coding in a remote mountain retreat
2002-07-22 7.92 1,270 2 2 4 No Friends, I tell you the truth: Man can't live on Neverwinter alone
2002-07-23 8.94 1,354 2 3 5 No Today our Neverwinter world shall be unleashed to the sycophantic public. My AI is smarter than all of them.
2002-07-24 8.72 1,652 2 4 6 No C'mon, boys. It's time to bust us some roleplayin' freaks.
2002-07-25 7.55 1,294 0 0 0 No Tribute to the Violence Inherent in the System
2002-07-26 8.06 1,898 0 0 0 No Extra! Extra! Read all about it! U.S. President Declares War on Camping!
2002-07-27 9.10 6,237 1 1 2 Yes I tried to dial the WarCraft III tips line, but then things got raunchy
2002-07-29 7.42 2,049 0 0 0 No The 200 pound mouse has done wonders for my upper body strength
2002-07-30 8.08 1,741 0 0 0 No The off-site administrative meeting means I'm in charge of the office. Bust out the Velcro!
2002-07-31 8.71 2,571 1 0 1 No Everything I ever needed to know about Summer Camp I learned from Duke Nukem
2002-08-01 6.35 1,601 0 0 0 No When I asked Craig to get us directions to KFC, I didn't expect him to use Crazi Taxi 3.
2002-08-02 7.49 1,983 0 0 0 No I spent three solid months of my life solving Tony Hawk 3 just to watch a bunch of munchwads play musical chairs!?
2002-08-03 8.66 1,635 0 6 6 Yes Having created the smartest AI to ever grace a computer game, I found it now necessary to bust it out of 'The Joint.'
2002-08-05 8.21 2,459 0 0 0 No McDonald's Play Palace gives me unlimited access to small, easily-beatable Super Smash Bros. opponents
2002-08-06 7.78 2,212 0 0 0 No The most difficult part of sneaking online after dark is muffling the modem
2002-08-07 7.59 1,272 0 0 0 No Kids, there will be no "Super Guinea Pig Ball" in this house. Let me explain.
2002-08-08 7.94 2,000 1 2 3 No Hold the phone guys, I've another killer idea. Anyone ever heard of Vivendi-Universal?
2002-08-09 8.82 2,589 1 0 1 No Playing Day of Defeat while on the phone with your woman can really stress an otherwise healthy relationship
2002-08-10 8.44 1,921 0 1 1 Yes Duke Nukem was probably a better strip poker player than me
2002-08-12 7.31 2,423 0 0 0 No I sent my resume and portfolio to the Unreal team, unaware of what was to follow.
2002-08-13 8.38 1,899 0 0 0 No Our LAN administrator has been rigging our Warcraft III games using remote desktops
2002-08-14 6.74 1,880 0 0 0 No Good base defense requires intimate awareness of one's surroundings and uncanny perception
2002-08-15 8.84 1,668 1 2 3 No The PR355 N1NJ4 returns! Operation: QuakeCon Doomiltration
2002-08-16 6.29 2,069 0 0 0 No And now it is time for the glorious peoples' reinstall!
2002-08-18 8.64 1,837 0 1 1 Yes Miscommunication is the cornerstone of any dysfunctional gamer relationship
2002-08-19 8.00 2,540 0 0 0 No The top-of-the-line PC I ordered was obsolete before I finished entering my credit card number
2002-08-20 6.93 1,778 0 0 0 No For months I agonized over where to get toner cartridges -- and then, WHAMS! There was the answer, right in my email!
2002-08-21 7.56 2,250 0 0 0 No I'd like you to meet my friend Jared. He's in Doom III denial.
2002-08-22 8.47 2,352 1 0 1 No Look dammit, this is your third and last tank, Herr Kommandant.
2002-08-23 8.25 2,577 0 0 0 No My new cable modem has taught me universal truths that I didn't want to know.
2002-08-24 9.00 2,175 2 2 4 Yes A Pr355 N1nj4 has no respect for the term 'Closed' Beta
2002-08-26 6.46 1,796 0 0 0 No Doom III's new lighting effects will harken a new 'Dark Age' of gameplay!
2002-08-27 8.21 1,938 1 0 1 No Our company will go to great lengths to ensure that we keep our QA department
2002-08-28 7.85 2,143 2 0 2 No I think the issue here is that the 'Horrifying Human Wave Attack' is simply not the best multiplayer strategy.
2002-08-30 7.16 1,531 0 0 0 No You leave me no choice but to implement a 'Scorched Earth' Monkey Ball policy
2002-09-01 8.80 1,901 1 1 2 Yes In my expert, mechanical opinion, the problem is that your tank is stuck in a tree.
2002-09-03 6.59 1,643 0 0 0 No My 'Platforms Floating in Space' skills are honed to perfection, sir.
2002-09-05 5.88 2,461 0 0 0 No I've put off that PC hardware upgrade for hours. It's time!
2002-09-06 8.74 2,768 2 0 2 No You want to play Battlefield again? What, you're missing a hood ornament?
2002-09-07 9.19 2,902 1 2 3 Yes Good Quality Assurance is hard to fake. Especially wearing this.
2002-09-08 8.60 2,066 0 0 0 No Lemme tell you about the geek that got away...
2002-09-10 8.90 3,226 3 0 3 No My Dad's a smart guy, but his plans for handling Battlefield 1942 snipers are somewhat unorthodox
2002-09-11 5.31 1,678 0 0 0 No When they needs the bananas, nine out of ten Yoshis come to me.
2002-09-12 6.73 1,870 0 0 0 No The world’s smallest violin and I wish to discuss the loss of your WarCraft III hero
2002-09-13 8.57 2,596 0 0 0 No Man, I would give anything for a hit of whatever dope the driver of this tank is smoking.
2002-09-15 9.28 4,825 2 1 3 Yes Playing Battlefield 1942 with you is like playing Carmageddon.
2002-09-16 7.06 1,738 0 0 0 No My Unreal Bombing Run tactics make great men weep and lesser men crumble.
2002-09-17 7.68 1,621 0 0 0 No That new kitten is either howling from fear or mocking my Unreal Tournament skillz.
2002-09-18 8.08 2,066 2 0 2 No Until I find out who chopped my coconut tree, the Animal Crossing hatchet executions will COMMENCE!
2002-09-19 8.64 2,451 3 0 3 No ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ is making it really difficult to coordinate my Battlefield 1942 team.
2002-09-20 6.43 1,922 0 0 0 No This morning when I turned on Animal Crossing, there was a severed horse head in my bed
2002-09-21 8.52 1,756 2 1 3 Yes I'll never understand the fixation with my dad's unorthodox Battlfield 1942 tactics.
2002-09-23 9.08 2,678 1 0 1 No A hideous surreality hung over this Battlefield 1942 server ... like a cloud.
2002-09-24 7.59 1,756 2 1 3 No For some reason drawing a penis on my door in Animal Crossing seemed like a good idea at the time.
2002-09-25 8.24 1,705 0 0 0 No Well, yes, I was hoping Dexter Events Consultants could help me plan for my next LAN party: “Operation St0nkd0wn.”
2002-09-26 9.33 5,437 3 0 3 No The loss of our Sinistar Arcade machine was a bitter, bitter blow.
2002-09-27 7.45 1,913 2 2 4 No Man, how can you cheat in Animal Crossing? Doesn’t it make you feel dirty?
2002-09-28 9.07 2,703 3 2 5 Yes My teammates won’t stop talking like pirates, but I’ve kinda warmed to the idea.
2002-09-30 7.66 2,103 0 0 0 No I seemed to have joined an Unreal Tournament 2003 server filled with Dadaists.
2002-10-01 8.05 1,981 0 0 0 No So, you got a bootleg copy of the second Lord of the Rings movie? That’s nothing. I know a feller who has a book of the third one
2002-10-02 7.95 2,271 1 0 1 No Ah! Would that I could play Battlefield: 1942 for a living.
2002-10-03 7.21 1,947 0 0 0 No The problem with the WaveBird Wireless Controller is that you can chuck it. Far.
2002-10-04 9.28 5,975 1 0 1 No Until now, Twinking people in online RPGs has been a reward in and of itself.
2002-10-06 9.16 2,318 1 2 3 Yes You ever resuscitate a dead arcade machine? It can get pretty ugly.
2002-10-07 7.35 2,335 0 0 0 No Whhoooooaa, honey, we gotta buy this vacuum cleaner, it looks like something the Protoss would use.
2002-10-08 8.02 2,231 5 0 5 No Hey guys? Guys? Could you stop playing Navy Seals a sec? I’ve got kinda a situation here.
2002-10-09 9.01 2,563 1 1 2 No All right! ‘Tied-up’ dude is back online!
2002-10-10 7.06 1,871 0 0 0 No This Sim needs some sort of Sock Puppet intervention
2002-10-11 6.16 1,852 0 0 0 No Laugh all you want, this is the only way I can play Need for Speed without getting mad vertigo
2002-10-12 9.25 4,329 7 4 11 Yes I’d never thought that the power of Twinking people in RPGs could be used for evil
2002-10-14 8.51 2,831 2 0 2 No So I said, “Honey, before we jump right in and buy a kitten, maybe we should consult The Sims
2002-10-17 8.30 2,573 0 0 0 No Wow, that “Ghandi” dude is one ornery killing machine.
2002-10-18 7.46 2,083 0 0 0 No If only I had known space travel was so easy before I bought my Ferrari
2002-10-20 9.00 1,951 0 2 2 Yes A true Internet entrepreneur can really profit from someone like ‘Tied-Up Guy.’
2002-10-21 8.51 2,152 1 0 1 No There’s a lot of money to be made as an eBay Fictionalizationizer.
2002-10-22 8.89 2,310 1 0 1 No Team killing is a disease, and I’m not the cure
2002-10-23 7.37 1,920 0 0 0 No MWA-HAAH! My skillful machinations have allowed me to absolutely corner the burgeoning Sims Online Lawn Gnome market!
2002-10-24 8.89 2,536 0 0 0 No This whole ‘Relaxing Zen Garden’ thing is really wiggin’ me out.
2002-10-25 6.92 2,034 0 0 0 No C’mon, let’s lay off the Soccering and start with the rioting!
2002-10-27 7.41 2,297 1 1 2 Yes It’s not a good idea to use The Sims to make important family decisions.
2002-10-29 8.65 2,790 1 0 1 No Oh yah -- there’s not a single thing you can do or say in Counter-Strike that I haven’t bound to a single keystroke!
2002-10-30 8.48 2,178 0 1 1 No I just had to pull a grand theft Grand Theft Auto
2002-10-31 7.41 2,239 0 0 0 No Nobody wants to get it on with the Fat Undead Guy from Doom III.
2002-11-01 7.69 2,620 0 0 0 No I worry about the influence of Grand Theft Auto, but not because of the language or violence
2002-11-03 8.80 2,415 0 1 1 Yes When it comes to Team-Killing, I’m a conscientious objector.
2002-11-04 7.80 2,212 1 0 1 No Look here, I want Mario Sunshine for Christmas ... Or I’m gonna start livin’ the dream, baby!
2002-11-05 7.78 1,878 0 0 0 No I’m voting on a straight “Video Game” platform.
2002-11-06 6.96 2,411 0 0 0 No Whhooaaa - check it OUT! The guy across the street has a leaked DOOM III executable!
2002-11-07 8.31 2,641 1 0 1 No Until today I had operated under the flawed assumption that I was the tech God
2002-11-09 8.77 3,169 1 1 2 Yes I am the King of Macros ... and I just met my Queen
2002-11-12 8.21 2,094 2 0 2 No Your poor performance with the aircraft carrier has prompted me to resume the practice of naval flogging
2002-11-13 6.99 2,592 0 0 0 No What kind of crazy whack-job emoticons is this EverQuest chick sending me!?
2002-11-14 8.51 2,733 1 0 1 No As a professional gamer, my recent onset of motion sickness has qualified me for disability benefits.
2002-11-16 9.01 1,910 0 2 2 No Playing games like EverQuest over a cell phone presents unique challenges.
2002-11-18 6.60 2,290 0 1 1 No Percy is in need of comforting after the second Harry Potter movie.
2002-11-21 7.10 2,647 0 0 0 No I just got one of those new cell-phone PDA dealies. That’s the kind of thing you spend money on when you don’t have a girl.
2002-11-24 8.48 2,225 1 1 2 Yes With my professional gaming career on the rocks, I opted to become a color commentator
2002-11-26 7.48 2,222 2 0 2 No To truly master Tekken 4, one must learn to bend like the autumn leaf. Like that’s ever gonna happen.
2002-11-27 9.14 3,796 1 0 1 No My TiVo thinks I’m Japanese.
2002-11-28 7.92 2,033 0 6 6 No The Daily Victim Thanksgiving Special 2002
2002-12-02 7.61 2,146 0 0 0 No I’ve devised the perfect controller with which to play first-person shooters on a console
2002-12-03 8.08 2,606 0 0 0 No This new PC game is just a blank CD with instructions on the label for how to get the patch.
2002-12-04 7.83 2,124 0 1 1 No Attention people of the Morrowind Expansion Pack: Do you, too, wish to bring it?
2002-12-05 7.67 2,022 0 1 1 No It is time for those of us wise in the ways of martial combat to stand against our unfair portrayal in the videogame media
2002-12-06 7.86 2,352 0 0 0 No I’m sorry Germany, but the Pope told me to take you down!
2002-12-08 7.88 2,445 0 1 1 Yes My TiVo wants me dead.
2002-12-10 8.16 2,650 1 0 1 No Okay man, listen up: I’ve developed a 32-step program designed to get my hot girlfriend into Cosplay.
2002-12-11 8.36 1,998 0 0 0 No For our fiscal year 2003 planning meeting, I’d like to suggest we employ a Medieval: Total War business strategy.
2002-12-12 8.85 2,733 1 0 1 No Don’t go in there! Hans’s game of Medieval: Total War has spun into a harrowing Caligula-like descent into debauchery!
2002-12-16 7.91 1,923 0 0 0 No No man, the problem is, the guy at the Returns desk is an ex insurance claims investigator.
2002-12-17 7.99 2,229 0 0 0 No Okay, new plan. Our new MMORPG game will be coded entirely using the Macromedia Flash MX 30-day trial. So we have to work fast.
2002-12-19 7.66 2,258 0 0 0 No You’d best be showing us that ladder full of orcs falling into the army of orcs, and you’d best be showing the whole thing.
2002-12-20 8.65 2,789 1 0 1 No What if a game were so good that anyone playing it dropped off the face of the Earth? How would you find out about it?
2002-12-24 8.50 2,385 0 2 2 Yes The Daily Victim Christmas Special 2002
2002-12-31 6.98 1,803 0 0 0 No I’ve been playing the Army computer game for months. Where’s my money for college?
2003-01-01 8.44 2,009 3 0 3 No MY New Year’s Resolution revolves around the cheese-grating-like decimation of you, and all your stupid Elves!
2003-01-02 7.53 2,078 1 0 1 No I’m just too nice for all of these ‘Open Ended’ RPGs.
2003-01-03 6.88 1,592 0 2 2 No I have an urgent decision to undertake with regards to Mario Party and the mattress outside
2003-01-05 8.28 1,556 0 2 2 Yes Move over! When King Hans plays Medieval: Total War, he demands that his steaks RARE. Still mooing, even.
2003-01-07 8.74 2,500 1 0 1 No An entire generation didn’t graduate from Clarion College in 1992 because I installed Civilization into the computer labs.
2003-01-08 8.54 2,253 1 1 2 No Just lie low and follow my lead, dude. We’ll get this PlayStation 2 mod-chipped. You just gotta know the right people.
2003-01-09 8.99 2,506 2 2 4 No Anything less than third-degree burns is no reason to quit a perfectly good game of WarCraft III.
2003-01-10 8.44 1,946 1 3 4 No But sir, Battle.net’s policy about disconnects makes no exceptions if your house blows up. It’s in the EULA.
2003-01-12 8.54 1,990 1 3 4 No I’m being hounded by some elf dude just ‘cuz I kicked his rear in Warcraft.
2003-01-13 8.81 1,710 2 1 3 No Those movies not withstanding, I really think us elves are getting misrepresented in the media.
2003-01-14 9.24 3,057 6 4 10 No Online weddings, online schmeddings. Like I’m supposed to get all hopped up about the marriage of “Lady Gloria Perfectteeth.”
2003-01-15 9.06 2,129 3 4 7 No It’s amazing the kind of lewt you can nab when someone fireballs an online RPG wedding party.
2003-01-16 8.79 2,025 2 9 11 No Don’t be mislead. The REAL money in organized crime comes from illicit online auctions of online RPG lewt.
2003-01-20 8.04 1,992 1 1 2 No Are you trying to tell me that these leather gauntlets did not actually belong to Clint Eastwood?
2003-01-21 8.28 1,936 2 4 6 No Just ‘cuz a guy plays as a chick in an RPG isn’t any reason to nullify his online wedding. Er, HER wedding.
2003-01-22 8.85 1,579 3 9 12 No At long last I can finally live the dream and play Battlefield: 1942 for a living.
2003-01-23 8.55 2,007 2 2 4 No Those weird war-dudes have taken over our LAN gaming center
2003-01-24 8.43 4,103 1 6 7 No Who ever told you that trying to seduce a gamer was easy?
2003-02-01 9.21 3,511 2 6 8 Yes It was a Battlefield game that will live in infamy. If, by infamy, you mean easily forgotten weakness.
2003-02-05 8.30 2,500 0 0 0 No Moving to Tokyo in order to be the first to play Soul Calibur II has its downsides.
2003-02-06 8.98 4,322 1 0 1 No Yo, Frank, can you please stop using obscenities as city names in Sim City 4?
2003-02-09 8.53 2,799 0 2 2 Yes That’s it, I’m through. I’ve decided to stop dating gamers.
2003-02-11 8.45 2,405 0 0 0 No My cat should be a Metal Gear “Fox-Hound” Special Operative.
2003-02-12 7.89 2,552 0 0 0 No Wolfenstien’s few. The proud. The mangled Venom-wielders screaming for medics.
2003-02-14 7.31 2,852 0 0 0 No Hey honey, didja ever smoke a chia-pet?
2003-02-16 8.71 3,671 1 1 2 Yes EA Technical Support was not amused by your semi-pornographic SimCity town names.
2003-02-20 6.81 2,991 0 0 0 No Guys, I figured out how to smuggle a PS2 and EQ Online Adventures into school.
2003-02-23 7.90 2,883 0 0 0 No Hey you kids! Stop bazookaing your teammates into the water!
2003-02-26 7.66 2,911 0 0 0 No We’ve got to stop hiring people just because they’re good at LAN parties.
2003-03-04 7.39 2,099 0 0 0 No I Have a Great Idea for a Daily Victim, Provided You Fill Out the Following Paperwork.
2003-03-05 7.48 2,174 2 0 2 No I have what I believe to be conclusive evidence that the Archon’s Minions EverQuest guild FAKED the Dragon-Slayings.
2003-03-06 8.43 2,474 1 2 3 No I take issue with yesterday’s assertion that my guild faked the EverQuest dragon-slaying.
2003-03-11 8.35 2,593 0 0 0 No I’ve played so many World War II games that they’ve long since ceased to have any individual significance.
2003-03-12 8.51 2,011 0 0 0 No For the upcoming conflict in the gulf, we’ll be sending our foremost experts in grenade-jumping.
2003-03-13 9.31 5,253 2 1 3 No My love of survival horror games has perverted the delicate sensibilities of my parrot.
2003-03-14 7.78 2,383 0 2 2 No How many times I gotta tell you, Ned? There is no PK’ing in The Sims Online.
2003-03-16 8.18 2,700 0 2 2 Yes Ladies, gentlemen, I believe the time has come for our EverQuest guild to fake its own death.
2003-03-20 7.10 3,364 0 0 0 No That’s a typo -- my emoticon is not actually drooling.
2003-03-26 6.57 2,940 1 0 1 No Thank you, Legend of Zelda! I finally have a vehicle to vent my rage against ... plants!
2003-03-31 8.26 2,284 0 0 0 No Hello kind shopkeeper, I’m here to examine your pottery. And by ‘examine’ I mean ‘smash until gems come out.’
2003-04-01 8.04 2,276 0 0 0 No Our PC game isn’t delayed; I prefer the term, “Extended Development.”
2003-04-03 8.34 1,947 1 2 3 No My recent homecoming to Animal Crossing was not the joyous reunion I expected.
2003-04-04 8.07 1,963 0 2 2 No The ruins of our Animal Crossing town are best cleared by an elite group of heavily-armed special ops units.
2003-04-07 7.53 2,900 1 0 1 No Believe tha messageboardz: My PlanetSide faction wi11 CRUSH J00!
2003-04-14 7.84 2,025 4 0 4 No Okay, I’m going to say it one last time. Hand over the Game Boy. Your Tingle privileges are revoked.
2003-04-15 7.44 1,920 5 1 6 No Bad Tingle? No bad Tingle! Tingle is good! Tingle is a GOOD Tingle!
2003-04-16 7.72 1,597 3 2 5 No What did you do to Steve? I saw him taking off in his Tingle outfit, weeping and carrying a grappling hook and a weed eater.
2003-04-17 8.36 1,776 2 2 4 No No, sir. The Tingle is armed, and almost definitely dangerous. I think he's got a bomb.
2003-04-18 8.18 1,630 1 5 6 No In order to find a Tingle, you need to start THINKING like a Tingle.
2003-04-20 8.61 1,775 1 6 7 Yes What follows is a true account of the greatest Tingle that ever lived
2003-04-21 7.34 1,693 5 1 6 No Dance Dance Story Part I: An Important Message from the Minstrel of Ph4t B33tz
2003-04-23 7.75 1,369 4 2 6 No Lesser men have been able to bring down the house; but when you bring down the hizzouse, it requires special pants.
2003-04-24 8.01 1,585 3 2 5 No They say that love springs eternal; but can it freestyle into a Caution Drop on DDR Extreme?
2003-04-25 8.70 1,534 1 4 5 No Dude, I know that you love this girl, but what you’re talking about isn’t merely winning an arcade game -- it’s suicide!
2003-04-26 8.42 1,221 1 4 5 No Pssst, ladies. I understand you have a love problem with those boys from the arcade. Might I offer advice?
2003-04-27 8.59 1,869 0 6 6 Yes Dance Dance Story: A tale of love and phat beetz ends.
2003-04-29 8.49 2,232 0 0 0 No I love editing my own videogame baseball team. Instead of nine well-balanced players, my team consists of five mutants.
2003-05-01 8.95 3,734 1 0 1 No I lost my job at the grocery store today for cranking up the difficulty on the checkout belt.
2003-05-05 7.97 2,983 0 0 0 No Aw man. Just look at you, dude. I knew I shouldn’t have given you that old copy of Harvest Moon.
2003-05-11 8.00 1,739 4 5 9 No You guys, I’m serious. This big E3 tradeshow is our best and only chance to buy Vivendi!
2003-05-13 9.12 2,369 0 2 2 No Security at E3 was tight. But not as tight as a finely crafted, masterfully executed backup plan.
2003-05-15 8.58 2,460 0 2 2 No I am a fully trained Pr355 N1nj4. I alone have the sixth freedom.
2003-05-18 7.46 2,084 0 2 2 No Wow, Your Online Console Game Looks Great. But It's Lacking a Few "emergency" Features...
2003-05-23 7.19 1,961 0 2 2 No Many readers simply don't understand what qualifies a game for the "Tingle Awards."
2003-05-28 8.06 2,659 0 0 0 No We've got a lock on "The One." He's running through the post office level banging on the "x" button repeatedly.
2003-05-30 8.49 2,868 2 1 3 No In PlanetSide, I've perfected a new type of class. "Support Slacker."
2003-06-03 8.03 1,977 0 0 0 No The physics from my recent auto accident weren't at all realistic.
2003-06-04 8.67 1,827 1 1 2 No Guys, guys -- the problem here, as I see it, is that our entire team is a bunch of Support Slackers.
2003-06-05 8.05 1,745 0 0 0 No Listen up, people! As Ultima Online Griefers, a new golden age is now upon us.
2003-06-06 8.12 1,456 0 0 0 No What is this? You guys call THIS a game trailer? Step aside and let me show you how to edit.
2003-06-07 9.09 3,448 0 3 3 Yes This invasion is unlike any invasion I've ever slacked onto before.
2003-06-10 7.51 1,920 1 0 1 No My interview at the movie theater went downhill fast when they started talking strategy.
2003-06-11 8.20 2,697 0 0 0 No This Star Wars Galaxies beta NDA is going to tear our friendship apart.
2003-06-17 8.15 1,646 0 0 0 No With rain clouds coming, I had to pull a Project Gotham with the riding lawnmower.
2003-06-18 8.59 1,668 0 2 2 No My original plan was to set this wedding reception alight by overclocking the Electric Slide...
2003-06-19 8.31 1,823 0 2 2 No WarioWare can easily bring about marital difficulties.
2003-06-20 8.79 3,377 0 1 1 No I managed to install Civilization onto the school's library Computers, but at what cost?
2003-06-25 8.30 1,923 0 0 0 No Shhh, keep your voices down. That guy's been playing a single game of 'snake' on his cell phone for a week straight.
2003-06-26 7.19 2,365 0 0 0 No I didn't want the bank I work for to know I'd applied to a job at a gaming company, so I wrote all my emails in 'l33t.'
2003-07-01 7.75 1,557 1 3 4 No No man, it's all cool. I'm just going to write off my EverQuest Dwarf as a tax loss.
2003-07-02 7.07 1,863 0 0 0 No Honey, what do you want from me? The Imperial March is in my head. I have to play Galaxies!
2003-07-03 8.68 2,307 0 0 0 No Kids: Game Boy and Jury Duty DON'T MIX.
2003-07-06 7.92 2,007 0 1 1 No Oh no sir! You can't bring that inside this cantina!
2003-07-08 8.04 1,930 0 0 0 No I just can't stop killin' Rebel scum!
2003-07-09 5.89 2,078 0 0 0 No Keep the ... get them ... oh ... put the mouse droids away please!
2003-07-10 7.57 2,798 0 0 0 No Oh yah? That's nothing. I play Quake 3 in 16384x12288 resolution.
2003-07-11 7.95 1,871 0 0 0 No I'll tell you when I've had enuff, just fork over the ale, Neverwinter wench!
2003-07-12 7.86 1,795 0 2 2 Yes No! Stop twinking my Dwarf! He's a tax writeoff!
2003-07-15 7.82 2,826 1 0 1 No Knights of the Old Republic is so great it will crush you physically and emotionally!
2003-07-17 6.82 3,083 0 1 1 No AUGH! HotSoup's computer crashed before he finished drawing my legs!
2003-08-04 8.62 1,585 0 0 0 No You've never looked fear in the eye? Let me tell you about my experience with Link Dead, ace online pilot.
2003-08-05 7.16 1,691 0 0 0 No If a foodstuff can't be prepared in between rounds of Medal of Honor, I'm not interested!
2003-08-06 7.01 1,598 0 0 0 No I'm sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend broke up. She seemed perfect for you. You know. From what I could gather on IRC.
2003-08-07 7.38 2,799 0 0 0 No Less talking, more light-sabering!
2003-08-12 8.85 2,703 0 0 0 No EGAH! It's the most feared Sith Lord of any of the Star Wars Galaxies servers!
2003-08-14 7.17 1,518 0 0 0 No My Madden 2004 Strategy is a combination of grit, strategic thinking, and end-zone interceptions leading to 99-yard touchdowns.
2003-08-15 8.70 2,832 0 0 0 No I TOLD you you didn't need that many monitors. NOW look at what happened.
2003-08-18 8.96 2,335 0 0 0 No So, you'd like to camp planes with us in Battlefield 1942? You'll have to fill out some of this paperwork.
2003-08-20 8.00 2,472 0 0 0 No My new phone service has unlimited instant text messaging! It will usher in a new era of open communication!
2003-08-21 7.37 2,048 0 0 0 No You're paying for my fansite to come out and preview your new game? Me and my 20 friends are SO there!
2003-08-26 8.76 1,764 0 0 0 No Battlefield 1942 Scientific Journal for August 26th, 2003
2003-08-27 8.41 1,742 0 0 0 No To my friends, family, and loved ones: I would like to apologize in advance for the weekend of debauchery I'm planning on Tatooine.
2003-08-28 7.85 1,799 0 0 0 No I clubbed a sales clerk unconscious and I'll do the same to you!
2003-08-29 7.64 1,814 0 1 1 No Avast, ye sea doggies! Hand yer captain a manual or something!
2003-09-02 7.77 1,333 0 0 0 No I'd love to help you fend of the Empire's invasion, but it's past my bedtime.
2003-09-03 8.18 1,943 0 0 0 No What, no Alienware PC for my birthday!? It's not like I asked for guns! Or drugs!
2003-09-04 8.15 2,103 0 0 0 No What, you want to talk to that girl? No way man, you don't stand a chance. She cons yellow to you. Maybe red.
2003-09-05 5.77 1,658 0 0 0 No Maybe I should switch to the Du-Rag. A man's got to put a lot of thought into these things.
2003-09-08 7.57 1,710 0 0 0 No My new mod for War III is a conversion to a mod I made for Starcraft that emulated my WarCraft II mod that emulated C&C!
2003-09-09 9.14 2,540 0 0 0 No Bad Things happened when I inadvertently released my own game patch.
2003-09-10 8.40 2,457 0 0 0 No j4bb3rw0xx0r Presents: The Diablo II Drinking Game!
2003-09-11 7.21 1,806 0 0 0 No Ubisoft's new logo is driving icicles of pure thought directly into my unwilling BRAIN.
2003-09-12 8.45 2,553 0 1 1 No My 6-month plan to get my hot girlfriend into Cosplay has colossally backfired.
2003-09-16 9.01 2,061 0 1 1 No What hideous depraved intelligence is concocting such a grotesque perversion of Starcraft strategy, and why is it working?
2003-09-17 8.28 1,789 0 0 0 No Physics, man. It's never too early to prepare for the Physics.
2003-09-19 8.75 1,746 0 3 3 Yes There's a crippling loss of personal dignity associated with this year's 'Talk Like a Pirate Day.'
2003-09-22 8.01 2,073 0 1 1 No I lost my job at the Hospital just for trying to get the high score on the EKG
2003-09-23 7.65 1,790 0 0 0 No Why can't you people just take the hint and get as addicted to Tiger Woods as I am?
2003-09-26 7.52 2,354 0 0 0 No You tell the captain of this plane that my GameBoy is almost out of batteries! Now MUSH!
2003-09-29 7.65 2,221 0 0 0 No For God's sake! Pick up the blue dot! A man's life is at stake!
2003-10-01 6.70 1,436 0 0 0 No Three words, my friend, three words: Massively Multiplayer Curling.
2003-10-02 8.64 2,296 0 0 0 No If you yell "Sniper" into my ear ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to rip your lips off.
2003-10-03 7.59 2,061 0 0 0 No Well Jer, no, putting that new Radeon card down your pants isn't what I'd consider a "Casemod" in the classical sense
2003-10-06 8.01 2,152 0 0 0 No What kind of roleplaying game is it? Does it have towns? After playing hundreds of RPGs in my lifetime, I've developed a fear of towns.
2003-10-07 8.52 2,389 1 1 2 No I can't possibly clean up my hard drive. I'm too emotionally invested.
2003-10-09 8.28 2,249 0 0 0 No I will be brutally honest. There's no way you look like your Tiger Woods 2004 character.
2003-10-13 8.07 2,601 0 0 0 No I'll go on the record and say that I don't think what you downloaded here is actually the Half-Life 2 source code.
2003-10-15 7.71 1,763 0 0 0 No Sure it's legit. It's what I call the Star Wars Galaxies MBA program.
2003-10-16 7.80 2,268 0 0 0 No My Contra-Honed Reflexes can defeat your piddly game in mere hours!
2003-10-20 8.42 1,916 0 0 0 No Gentlemen, if you please. Remove your network cables for a moment of Internet silence in honor of our dear friend Dave.
2003-10-21 8.18 2,303 0 0 0 No Mr. Pembleton's last will and testament clearly establishes this trust fund for his favorite MMOG character.
2003-10-24 7.76 3,332 0 0 0 No So uh guys ... about that whole ... "ring" thing...
2003-10-27 7.55 1,994 0 0 0 No So, you just jumped out of a burning building into a hail of machine gun fire? CHILD'S PLAY!
2003-10-29 4.98 2,779 0 0 0 No One word, dude: Halo.
2003-10-31 9.16 3,762 1 7 8 No A Special Halloween Victim of Unmitigated Horror
2003-11-03 7.43 2,149 0 0 0 No Nope, can't play Call of Duty. Doctor's Orders. You'll have to do it for me.
2003-11-05 8.15 2,764 0 0 0 No Now that there's a child in the house, I'm only permitted to play Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure
2003-11-10 9.14 2,712 0 0 0 No I warned him! I told him not to play with the EyeToy for an hour after eating, but he didn't listen! He didn't listen!
2003-11-11 7.96 3,042 0 1 1 No Check it out -- look what I can see from this new satellite imaging website!
2003-11-17 8.30 2,361 0 0 0 No My husband's online roleplaying habits are a serious source of marital strife.
2003-11-19 7.63 1,803 0 1 1 No Honey, I've got a great idea for what to get little Kip for an E-rated Christmas!
2003-11-20 8.98 3,424 0 0 0 No Wow, Project Gotham Guy has answers for everything.
2003-11-26 8.67 2,174 1 0 1 No What would YOU give ... for the one, perfect lap?
2003-11-27 8.24 2,387 0 3 3 No What, me? Carve the turkey? Well, I guess I got the skillz...
2003-12-02 9.12 2,430 0 2 2 No Victory will be mine in this Battlefield 1942 map contest ... though I had to take some drastic actions.
2003-12-03 6.27 2,485 0 0 0 No Happy Holidays, Skip. Here's your present. It's a gift certificate for ... A MANBEATING!
2003-12-09 6.93 1,923 0 0 0 No I don't care what they say. Growing hairy feet is the hottest new geek trend.
2003-12-11 9.03 3,260 0 1 1 No My Imaginary eBay Girlfriend Doesn't Understand My Gaming Hobby
2003-12-15 8.50 2,221 1 0 1 No Stalingrad is a grey wasteland of rubble and human remains. Only One man can get across the railyard alive...
2003-12-16 8.47 2,098 0 2 2 No The German Bunnyhopper is tearing our lines to shreds! We'll have to send in ... Sergei.
2003-12-17 8.25 3,330 0 0 0 No Allright, gather 'round. I've developed a Call of Duty team strategy that speaks to all of our strengths.
2003-12-30 7.43 2,669 1 0 1 No Hell no! Nerds won't go! We won't let you close Wizards of the Coast!
2004-01-05 7.82 1,516 0 1 1 No I'd like to respectfully suggest that last week's Victim cram it in an uncomfortable place.
2004-01-06 9.01 2,174 0 0 0 No No Haden, you're not allowed to play Mario Kart: Double Dash!! around the children. No, not because of the game, because of you.
2004-01-07 9.07 2,772 4 2 6 No Well, there IS a way to get your dead character's lost items back, but ... well, it ain't pretty.
2004-01-09 8.00 3,255 1 1 2 No Attention fellow roleplayers! The End is Nigh! And by Nigh, I mean Really, Really Close!
2004-01-21 9.57 6,777 1 8 9 No My plan to crash my favorite MMORPG server required a little help from an unexpected place
2004-01-23 7.54 3,596 0 2 2 No Thanks to that recent server crash, our online wedding never happened. Now get out of my house!
2004-02-04 7.28 2,261 2 2 4 No The Search for a New Artist Rages On
2004-02-18 6.92 2,122 1 1 2 No The Daily Victim artist search is wrapping up. Like the dismal closure of a lavish Broadway play.
2004-03-16 6.73 2,479 1 1 2 No The Search for a New GameSpy Artist Remains Steeped in Controversy.
2004-05-05 0.00 0 0 2 2 No The Daily Victim Redesign Is Cruising Smoothly ... like a Missile.
2004-06-23 0.00 0 0 0 0 No A Brief but Illustrated Update on the Daily Victim
2006-02-06 0.00 0 0 0 0 No People don't believe me because my name is Sarcasm
2006-02-08 0.00 0 0 1 1 No I make my living by selling things on Ebay
All Scores Listed From 2009-12-09
Obviously all this content belongs to Gamespy and their respective authors (Dave "Fargo" Kosak, Lemuel "HotSoup" Pew, Mike "Gabriel" Krahulik). This is merely meant as a repository of the old Daily Victim, since it is no longer hosted at Gamespy, it was practically a crime to let these wither and die only mirrored on the Internet Archive.

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